Following Spurs (Football) & Your Mental Health

[Serpico]

It is interesting but also, I do feel fickle because I was loving life when we were top of the league... And the drop off has been hard to take

I’m emotionally attached to football with Spurs/Italy . Football hurts when it goes wrong for sure. Every feeling gets exposed.
The hard part of our downfall is not understanding why it’s gone tits up and that really frustrates me. Watching the way we play makes me angry. Jose I’m slowly starting to hate him and I love winning and life goes on.

In the past Ive lost jobs because I decided to watch Tottenham on a Saturday rather than turn up for work. My life revolved around football. Playing It was a lot worse. Losing I felt depressed the whole week.

 

[EmperorKabir]

I’m emotionally attached to football with Spurs/Italy . Football hurts when it goes wrong for sure. Every feeling gets exposed.
The hard part of our downfall is not understanding why it’s gone tits up and that really frustrates me. Watching the way we play makes me angry. Jose I’m slowly starting to hate him and I love winning and life goes on.

In the past Ive lost jobs because I decided to watch Tottenham on a Saturday rather than turn up for work. My life revolved around football. Playing It was a lot worse. Losing I felt depressed the whole week.

What would you say your thought process was back in the days that watching spurs cost you jobs?

 

[TC18]

Like yourself I started going to watch Spurs in the 98/99 season when I was 7, I was fortunate (or unfortunate some may say ?) that my family had a box at WHL. Ever since then I loved Spurs.

Unfortunately as I’ve got older I have let results really affect my mood. It used to ruin a weekend easily, sometimes even a week if it’s a particular bad result and I couldn’t bare to look at Football news.

I’ve also been known to lob a sky remote across a room.. but thatwas just the once against Liverpool when they scored in the 90th minute, I tried turning the tv off, and instead kept flicking through to different channels in which Pool were celebrating... little did I know a few minutes later Kane would score a penalty. I was in a foul mood for about half hour before my wife came through and told me about our goal.

Something I am quite embarrassed about is the fact that Spurs reaching the CL final bought tears to my eyes, whereas I’ve managed to get through 3 births and my wedding without needing a tissue, much to my wife’s disgust.

The CL final though seriously hurt me. The whole build up to it I just wasn’t confident. The comments made by Poch, it all just seemed like we were grateful to just take part, almost like the squad and management were star struck by the whole thing. It probably hurt more that it was against Liverpool, a team I knew at the time that we could beat. The performance was just lacking. I ended leaving the pub bang on the final whistle and getting blind drunk back at home, something I’m also not very proud of. I’ve still not seen pictures of Liverpool lifting the trophy or is collecting runners up medals, I’m still pissed off by the whole thing.

After that game I decided I would take a step back from Spurs. I was way to emotionally involved in everything Spurs. I would come on here and spend the majority of my days flicking through posts, in between work. Weekend moods being dictated by how well we’ve played. It didn't last long though as I was pulled back in with the Poch sacking and us employing the manager that I’ve craved for since he was first given the boot by Chelsea.

Since COVID though I have really tried to take a step back and it has been working. I probably only check on here 5 or 6 times a day but a skim read? I still get all shouty at the TV but when the final whistle blows I don’t bother harbouring that feeling, or try not too...

Very sad I know but I don’t think I can really ever get over the CL final, I just think it was there for the taking. Likely to be a once in a lifetime opportunity for us.

 

[Mornstar]

The only great thing about supporting spurs through the 90s and early 00s is that no matter how shite we play, you can can always compare back to the teams of old and think......"phwoah, we were really shit then"

Chin up lads...to dare is to spursy remember

 

[cider spurs]

Spurs are my team. Has been for years. I'll argue their case all afternoon in a pub in response to rival fans who wish to go toe-toe.

However, I'll say it as is, if we've played shit, I'll usually agree, but maybe look to explain why I believe we were so shit.

As for the football itself. I gave up getting wound up by it a long time ago. Yes, of course it evokes great happiness when we win well, or beat one of the top sides.

Again, bit crap and pissed off when we lose. Especially when the performance has been dire.

But I don't spend my time getting down with something I have no control over. We will win some, we will lose some. I'll feel joyous, I'll feel gutted. It really is that simple for me.

Whilst I appreciate football plays a big part in some people's lives, and that's entirely their choice. Personally, having had so many family and friends pass away, I try not to give any time to things that don't really impact my life. Certainly not things that'll bring my mood down.

I do spend a fair amount of time here on SC, but for me, it doesn't really alter my mood, but more a chance to converse with others, which I feel is good for mental health...Match day threads aside.

It's only football. Far more important things in life to me.

 

[Gassin's finest]

I can happily say that I'm at an age now where football doesn't effect me like that. I've been supporting Spurs for 30 odd years, amazingly; Ever since I saw Hoddle sweeping through the entire Oxford team in 1987. Long enough for me to be able to shrug off a loss, or a bad spell, with an "its only a game".

Maybe its because I actually played the game (at an admittedly shite level), so I've felt the real physical and emotional toil of football; Slogging away for 90 mins, training every day in one capacity or another, experiencing that adrenaline when you score or win, and the resignation and frustration when you fail.

With Spurs specifically, maybe its because I'm not local. I guess I'm something of a plastic... I started following them when I was still a kid in Germany, and then a teenager in Yorkshire. My Grandad would take me to see S****horpe, and then when I could drive I used to take him on away days all over the North. So I guess I got that grounded attitude to what football is, following bottom division teams. My enjoyment has always come from the love of football itself, rather than from the match to match, season to season success of a club. I didn't start going to the Lane regular until I moved to London in 2009. By that time I was just excited to be going to games (and helpful that it coincided with our best decade since the 80s).

But with all that I never lost that intangible affinity with Spurs through the 90s. Possibly because I'd loved that team with the likes of Hoddle, Waddle, Gazza, Lineker, Mabbutt, Allen... The cup final (and semi final) are etched on my brain. Gazza's free kick, Paul Stewart's drive, Mabbs lifting the trophy. It could have been easy to sway from them after that. In my early teens, right up in North Yorkshire, I was surrounded by Man Utd/Leeds/Middlesbrough and Newcastle fans. My Mam's family are all Geordie, and there's the aforementioned Scunny angle. But there was always something... a player, a style. There was always a Sheringham, or a Klinsmann, or a Ginola to keep that bit of magic that I just didn't feel with any other club.

There is something magic about Spurs. Something that bit "purer" with regards to football... something elegant yet grounded. We may not have the working class romance like some of the clubs from the industrial North, nor are we one of the shiny big elite clubs of obscene wealth and success. But there is something.

So yeah, I can deal with a poor spell with this club. Because no matter what happens to it, or me, I'll always come back. Because there isn't another football club out there like Spurs.

 

[scat1620]

 

[Everlasting Seconds]

I don't really care emotionally, Tottenham's results can't bring me down or affect my mood or alter how I engage with the world. I can imagine that in a hypothetical scenario of winning PL/EL/CL, I would probably be extra happy if that happened. But I have no idea, since we've never really seen such success in this modern world of football, which is quite different from winning the UEFA cup in the 80s or whatever. I'm guessing that unless the manager that comes after Mourinho is somebody I'd be really interested in following for a bit, or when Kane is sold, I'll just entirely stop paying attention really.

 

[C0YS]

I can happily say that I'm at an age now where football doesn't effect me like that. I've been supporting Spurs for 30 odd years, amazingly; Ever since I saw Hoddle sweeping through the entire Oxford team in 1987. Long enough for me to be able to shrug off a loss, or a bad spell, with an "its only a game".

Maybe its because I actually played the game (at an admittedly shite level), so I've felt the real physical and emotional toil of football; Slogging away for 90 mins, training every day in one capacity or another, experiencing that adrenaline when you score or win, and the resignation and frustration when you fail.

With Spurs specifically, maybe its because I'm not local. I guess I'm something of a plastic... I started following them when I was still a kid in Germany, and then a teenager in Yorkshire. My Grandad would take me to see S****horpe, and then when I could drive I used to take him on away days all over the North. So I guess I got that grounded attitude to what football is, following bottom division teams. My enjoyment has always come from the love of football itself, rather than from the match to match, season to season success of a club. I didn't start going to the Lane regular until I moved to London in 2009. By that time I was just excited to be going to games (and helpful that it coincided with our best decade since the 80s).

But with all that I never lost that intangible affinity with Spurs through the 90s. Possibly because I'd loved that team with the likes of Hoddle, Waddle, Gazza, Lineker, Mabbutt, Allen... The cup final (and semi final) are etched on my brain. Gazza's free kick, Paul Stewart's drive, Mabbs lifting the trophy. It could have been easy to sway from them after that. In my early teens, right up in North Yorkshire, I was surrounded by Man Utd/Leeds/Middlesbrough and Newcastle fans. My Mam's family are all Geordie, and there's the aforementioned Scunny angle. But there was always something... a player, a style. There was always a Sheringham, or a Klinsmann, or a Ginola to keep that bit of magic that I just didn't feel with any other club.

There is something magic about Spurs. Something that bit "purer" with regards to football... something elegant yet grounded. We may not have the working class romance like some of the clubs from the industrial North, nor are we one of the shiny big elite clubs of obscene wealth and success. But there is something.

So yeah, I can deal with a poor spell with this club. Because no matter what happens to it, or me, I'll always come back. Because there isn't another football club out there like Spurs.

I mean to be fair Tottenham is very much a working class area, and this myth of working class being something intrinsic to the north has always wound me up. Very few clubs though have a clear working class identity, or not anymore anyway. Because top division clubs tend to have quite large catchment areas. For example, Tottenham within London areas largely has a catchment area of working class areas, such as well, Tottenham bits of hackney and north east London, though it also has wealthier areas, such as stamford hill and crouch end but a lot of Tottenhams traditional base comes from rural/subburban areas on the edges of London and Essex. So it's really a mixed thing. I think it's sort of out of topic, but as someone who has spent most of my life living in the north the idea of London = wealthy middle class, has always rubbed me the wrong way as while London has a disgusting amount of wealth it's really not all like that and has real issues with inequality.

What I like about Tottenham as an area, is that it is the most ethnically diverse area of Europe, and Tottenham, despite it's bad reputation, is actually a very interesting and vibrant place, with issues yes, but also with a much stronger community focus that is sorrily missing in most of London. Now, how most of the Tottenham base doesn't actually come from within tottenham and I really dislike that some fans seem to take an active dislike of the area itself when I feel it should be a source of pride.

Footballing wise as well, it slightly annoys me that we don't play up our identity, or have a lazy education to it, when compared to clubs like Barcelona, Ajax or even West Ham. For example Tottenham has a club has had a significant influence on the development of football, some people might recognise Arthur Rowe in developing push and run but it actually goes much deeper than that. It can really be traced to Peter McWilliam, our first truly successful manager, who developed a proto-type of push and run and followed the tradition of the Scottish passing game.

Peter McWilliam coached a lot of future managers, such as Arthur Rowe, Bill Nicholson and Vic Buckingham. I'm going to focus on Rowe and Buckingham, because while Nicholson was the most successful manager for us, Nicholson really just refined and developed a more pragmatic form of Rowe's push and run. Rowe went on to work in a developmental capacity in Hungary, to train coaches. A lot of people assume that Rowe developed push and run by seeing what was happening in Hungary and transporting it to England, but the reality is a lot of it was the other way, namely Rowe helped develop the Hungarian game into what became a style that took Hungary to the world cup final and thrash England. The Hungarian game spread throughout Europe and the influence can still be felt today.

Vic Buckingham went to the Netherlands, and managed Ajax and Cruyff, he is considered a major influence in developing total football and helped create both the Ajax way and the Barcelona way, managing both clubs. Those styles can be traced back to the influence of Peter McWilliam, and it does sadden me that the 'Tottenham way' now simply means some vague commitment to attacking football, when it's much deeper than that. I guess part of the reason we never created a strong identity like Ajax and Barcelona is we became a bit of a buying club, and no longer connected to McWilliam's commitment to player development (we used Northfleet United as essentially a developmental team in the lower leagues, nowadays known as Ebbsfleet). I also believe bringing Neill in instead of Blanchflower and Giles, as Nicholson wished, did serious damage and helped us break away from our Tottenham identity (the 80s squad replicated it in a way, though a much more shallow and less radical form).

Anyway, this probably isn't the best place to put this, but, yes. Tottenham as a club means much more than the 'now', or winning things and all that, and as a sense of identity for me it's a good thing. It's the building of myth and imagined community that is very useful in an increasingly individualised world, and better still, it's much safer than other forms of identity creations that are much more prone to violence and discrimination. I think football can be very good for mental wellbeing but taking a step back and contextualising it I think is really important.

 

[Gassin's finest]

I mean to be fair Tottenham is very much a working class area, and this myth of working class being something intrinsic to the north has always wound me up. Very few clubs though have a clear working class identity, or not anymore anyway. Because top division clubs tend to have quite large catchment areas. For example, Tottenham within London areas largely has a catchment area of working class areas, such as well, Tottenham bits of hackney and north east London, though it also has wealthier areas, such as stamford hill and crouch end but a lot of Tottenhams traditional base comes from rural/subburban areas on the edges of London and Essex. So it's really a mixed thing. I think it's sort of out of topic, but as someone who has spent most of my life living in the north the idea of London = wealthy middle class, has always rubbed me the wrong way as while London has a disgusting amount of wealth it's really not all like that and has real issues with inequality.

What I like about Tottenham as an area, is that it is the most ethnically diverse area of Europe, and Tottenham, despite it's bad reputation, is actually a very interesting and vibrant place, with issues yes, but also with a much stronger community focus that is sorrily missing in most of London. Now, how most of the Tottenham base doesn't actually come from within tottenham and I really dislike that some fans seem to take an active dislike of the area itself when I feel it should be a source of pride.

Footballing wise as well, it slightly annoys me that we don't play up our identity, or have a lazy education to it, when compared to clubs like Barcelona, Ajax or even West Ham. For example Tottenham has a club has had a significant influence on the development of football, some people might recognise Arthur Rowe in developing push and run but it actually goes much deeper than that. It can really be traced to Peter McWilliam, our first truly successful manager, who developed a proto-type of push and run and followed the tradition of the Scottish passing game.

Peter McWilliam coached a lot of future managers, such as Arthur Rowe, Bill Nicholson and Vic Buckingham. I'm going to focus on Rowe and Buckingham, because while Nicholson was the most successful manager for us, Nicholson really just refined and developed a more pragmatic form of Rowe's push and run. Rowe went on to work in a developmental capacity in Hungary, to train coaches. A lot of people assume that Rowe developed push and run by seeing what was happening in Hungary and transporting it to England, but the reality is a lot of it was the other way, namely Rowe helped develop the Hungarian game into what became a style that took Hungary to the world cup final and thrash England. The Hungarian game spread throughout Europe and the influence can still be felt today.

Vic Buckingham went to the Netherlands, and managed Ajax and Cruyff, he is considered a major influence in developing total football and helped create both the Ajax way and the Barcelona way, managing both clubs. Those styles can be traced back to the influence of Peter McWilliam, and it does sadden me that the 'Tottenham way' now simply means some vague commitment to attacking football, when it's much deeper than that. I guess part of the reason we never created a strong identity like Ajax and Barcelona is we became a bit of a buying club, and no longer connected to McWilliam's commitment to player development (we used Northfleet United as essentially a developmental team in the lower leagues, nowadays known as Ebbsfleet). I also believe bringing Neill in instead of Blanchflower and Giles, as Nicholson wished, did serious damage and helped us break away from our Tottenham identity (the 80s squad replicated it in a way, though a much more shallow and less radical form).

Anyway, this probably isn't the best place to put this, but, yes. Tottenham as a club means much more than the 'now', or winning things and all that, and as a sense of identity for me it's a good thing. It's the building of myth and imagined community that is very useful in an increasingly individualised world, and better still, it's much safer than other forms of identity creations that are much more prone to violence and discrimination. I think football can be very good for mental wellbeing but taking a step back and contextualising it I think is really important.

When I said working class, perhaps I should have specified "industrial". The football clubs in cities like Newcastle, Sheffield, Leeds, Manchester, Liverpool etc grew out of the shipyards, coal mines, mills and steel works.

And yes, Spurs indelible mark on the development of the way the professional game is played, is one of the things make this club special. That's what I think of when someone says "the Tottenham way".

 

[G Ron]

Great thread this as it really resonates with me.

Sadly (as much as I hate the fact) Spurs really do have a huge impact on my mood and often ruin my day. For the rare moments of pure elation (Ajax away) there are probably 50 of pure despair and yesterday was one of those for me.

Growing up in North London in the late 80’s and early 90’s my friendship group was heavily weighted towards Spurs but the gooners we far more cocky and vocal and their success at the time made them unbearable. Then as I started work in London I discovered the pure hatred of spammers fans which I really wasn’t aware of until then having met barely a handful of their supporters in my lifetime. Then Chelsea emerged as haters and work banter was football focused and absolutely rife in a Monday morning. It’s clear that Spurs are the most hated team in London (more so than Millwall!) and so the stick I’d get on the back of a negative result would be brutal. This made me love spurs more, and hate our London rivals with a passion.

I wish I could cool my emotions and switch off from Spurs but it’s just not possible. I’ve tried to not watch matches but it just makes me massively distracted as I know the game is going on and I can’t focus on anything else. I played golf one Saturday afternoon a year or so back when Spurs lost 2-1 away to Southampton (1-0 up at h/t and then Rose had a bit of a shocker). I think our tee time was 1pm so my front nine was great, as soon as it hit 3pm I couldn’t concentrate on golf as I knew the game had started and my game went to complete shit (doesn’t take much). In short, I take my hat off to those who are able to shut off from it and take a back seat as I certainly can’t and at the moment I get more agitated and angry than ever watching us. I genuinely had chest pains by the end of the Wet Spam game as I hate those mugs with a passion and I was so irate at the defeat.

In summary, Spurs will be the death of me! ?

 

[punkisback]

Thanks for the insight and well written post, @EmperorKabir. I'll just chime in and say that unfortunately for me since the pandemic I've found that football results and general attitudes towards Spurs influence my mental health more than I'd like to admit. Before the pandemic, a shit run of games was easy enough to handle because I could go out for a drink, catch live music and socialise with friends to get my mind off things but I find myself waking up and thinking about football more and more lately. It doesn't help that social media platforms (esp Instagram and YouTube) tailor all of my recommendations to piss-poor football memes that are designed to get reactions out of people. I'm looking at you, OddsBible.

It's good to get a break and to tune out from time to time. I like that SC isn't just about the football, there are a bunch of threads on movies, music, food and more to develop a sense of online community which can really come handy in these isolating times.

Agree I feel a loss just ruins my weekend and starts the Sunday blues.

 

[Serpico]

What would you say your thought process was back in the days that watching spurs cost you jobs?

On this one occasion, having blown out work a few time on a Saturday to go and watch Tottenham. This particular morning (Southampton away) I was told 'your sacked'- I just pushed it to far. I really didn't care and went sick on other jobs to watch Tottenham and suffer the same fate.

How did I feel: Couldn't care less about work-nothing else mattered if I wanted to go and watch Spurs, I would go- I was young and full of it-naive and care free. Loved travelling to games home or away. Loved watching football, being part of it, the prematch atmosphere . Football was gladiatorial and I enjoyed the arena, I was in awe of the players, I wanted to be out there and kicked every ball. I loved watching the players, the skills, battles, moves and the tactical side of it. Even getting back in the car after the game and putting the radio on was a big buzz. There wasn't the overload as there is now.If you wanted to follow football then, it was live or MOTD/ITV BM or read the papers.

For me, you can't enjoying winning if you can't accept losing. Theres no compromise. Being fickle is wanting one and not the other.
Its a passion thing, your first love.Others had girls, Mine was football.

 

[mumfordspur]

As a supporter of the old b&w Spurs you take the lows with the very lows but I am joining this thread for 2 reasons:
1. I have surprised myself with the extremes I have suffered since Sunday. Just after the game I was fairly upbeat. We went in as underdogs and performed to par. They are a well coached team not that good but playing as a team but pre Christmas Spurs we would have won that 3-2. I havent been watching any games recently but had a good feeling about this one until I saw those dreaded names *Sanchez* *Dier* and I thought wtf maybe Jose has had them hypnotised/lobotomised. Anyway it wasnt the wprst performance under Jose and 2nd half was ok apart from missed chances.
Monday morning I woke up so effing angry at the whole thing. So much is wrong now sack Mourinho bring in Some Bloke good for 6 games then drop down the table. Repeat.
Levy goes to prove Turkeys are not just for Christmas but it appears forever.

2. Are you a real Emperor?

 

[Mandy Dingle]

In my mid to late twenties I felt I was pretty severely impacted by results. As others have said a loss could ruin not only my weekend but the start of the next week. But I don't know anymore. Something just clicked in my head, I took a step back and it was if I found some clarity and realised that my team winning or losing literally means nothing in the grand scheme of things. So now, win or lose, I feel a few minutes of elation or despair, shake it off, and keep moving forward without being overly bothered.

Reading this back it makes me seem like some plastic fan that doesn't care, but it is what it is I suppose.

 

[C0YS]

In my mid to late twenties I felt I was pretty severely impacted by results. As others have said a loss could ruin not only my weekend but the start of the next week. But I don't know anymore. Something just clicked in my head, I took a step back and it was if I found some clarity and realised that my team winning or losing literally means nothing in the grand scheme of things. So now, win or lose, I feel a few minutes of elation or despair, shake it off, and keep moving forward without being overly bothered.

Reading this back it makes me seem like some plastic fan that doesn't care, but it is what it is I suppose.

It's not plastic at all. Being dependent on football for mental wellbeing is an issue, and in my opinion, an issue that goes beyond football that probably is just as much a reflection of other things in life, it's much easier to spend emotional energy via the proxy of football than to try and work out what's really happening, and having to deal with often more complex and confusing issues that life throws at you.

Now supporting a football team is about suffering to a certain extent, but it's a reenactment and, in a way, a safe space to engage with things emotionally. Football is, fundamentally, a ritualised experience and even as a proxy to engage with negative emotions it has utility, as it can be a release, if you like, of those emotions applied to space that can't directly harm you. The theatre of going to a game, including abuse or anger from the stands, has to also be understood in that context. It's a space in which you can show anger and vocally release frustrations, even if a lot of those emotions might actually originate from other things. Sometimes abuse from the stands goes beyond acceptability, but largely, it's performance, were the norms of acceptable behaviour outside a stadium temporarily no longer apply.

The problem arises when one is unable to separate football as a ritual and theatre from real life. This isn't a unique thing about football, it also applies to all sorts of things, but I feel it is important to understand football is both more than a game but also entirely inconsequential. Passion for football is in essence entirely absurd. We have this contradiction between both feeling a lot for something while deep down knowing it has no inherent meaning. This can cause some discomfort and confusion, but, I think it needs to be embraced and accepted and in this way football is a bit of an allegory for life, but at the same time, it's not life but rather a less consequential space for emotion.

 

[spurs mental]

Something I am quite embarrassed about is the fact that Spurs reaching the CL final bought tears to my eyes, whereas I’ve managed to get through 3 births and my wedding without needing a tissue, much to my wife’s disgust.

Don't be embarrassed. I've been through 3 births myself and never cried but I cried that night too.

Part of it was probably the absolute overload of emotions from saying goodbye to my grandmother the week before, a huge Spurs fan herself, who I would have had weekly conversations with after our games. Which is also part of the reason I don't get as wound up or upset at football anymore.

 

[JonnySpurs]

Personally I found that Spurs results were having such a strong impact on my mood that I've had to make a conscious decision to almost withdraw somewhat.

I'm 38 now and been supporting Spurs since I was six years old. Four years ago my partner and I had our first child and about 20 months ago we had our 2nd. That has been central to why I've had to make changes.

What I've learned since my 2nd child was born was that on days when Spurs would lose, particularly if it was an unexpected loss, e.g. Brighton away, that would bring me right down. I would become quiet, irritable, impatient and generally be a pretty shitty person to be around. I realised how unfair that was on my family, particularly my kids as they are too young to understand.

Initially I took steps to stop watching massive games against likes of Arsenal, Chelsea etc. That helped to a degree because if I hadn't sat through it then it felt less likely to annoy me. Problem is that it didn't resolve the feelings after those unexpected losses, whether I saw them live or not and it meant I missed out on some amazing wins (Both 3-1 wins in 2018 being a good example). Unfortunately I found that wasn't enough so whilst my love for Spurs is undying and I spend every day tweeting about them, being on SC etc, when I go into games I try to set my own expectations as best I can. What it's done is it's meant that I probably don't enjoy the wins as much as I used to. I'm still delighted but it's not as euphoric as it once was. Equally though the losses aren't as bad. The West Ham game at the wknd is easily the best I've ever taken a loss. I was able to shake it off after 20 mins or so, keep my mood up and enjoy the rest of the wknd with my family. Right now that's all that matters. When the kids are older and can understand better then I might get back in deeper than before but honestly, I don't want to feel so bad when we lose so it might be as much about maturity as anything.

Football is an amazing thing. It's truly special and probably closer to religion than anything else I can think of that requires such devotion and emotional investment. Particularly considering I'm not religious at all! However, it can't be allowed to take over. If it's impacting on friends & family then that's only a bad thing but even if it isn't and it's just bringing you down then I would advise making some changes. Football is something to be loved and enjoyed and I suppose it's about making the distinction between enjoying that affection for the game but also understanding that it is just a game (as much as I hate saying that).

 

[Nodutus]

It's not plastic at all. Being dependent on football for mental wellbeing is an issue, and in my opinion, an issue that goes beyond football that probably is just as much a reflection of other things in life, it's much easier to spend emotional energy via the proxy of football than to try and work out what's really happening, and having to deal with often more complex and confusing issues that life throws at you.

Now supporting a football team is about suffering to a certain extent, but it's a reenactment and, in a way, a safe space to engage with things emotionally. Football is, fundamentally, a ritualised experience and even as a proxy to engage with negative emotions it has utility, as it can be a release, if you like, of those emotions applied to space that can't directly harm you. The theatre of going to a game, including abuse or anger from the stands, has to also be understood in that context. It's a space in which you can show anger and vocally release frustrations, even if a lot of those emotions might actually originate from other things. Sometimes abuse from the stands goes beyond acceptability, but largely, it's performance, were the norms of acceptable behaviour outside a stadium temporarily no longer apply.

The problem arises when one is unable to separate football as a ritual and theatre from real life. This isn't a unique thing about football, it also applies to all sorts of things, but I feel it is important to understand football is both more than a game but also entirely inconsequential. Passion for football is in essence entirely absurd. We have this contradiction between both feeling a lot for something while deep down knowing it has no inherent meaning. This can cause some discomfort and confusion, but, I think it needs to be embraced and accepted and in this way football is a bit of an allegory for life, but at the same time, it's not life but rather a less consequential space for emotion.

I have to say that this is one of the best posts I have ever seen on SC. Very very well put and I wish I could ”winner” this a hundred times.

Thanks for a great post.

 

[paddieu]

Possible Best Thread Ever

I'll try and add to it if I can face up to it at some point.