Let's All Laugh At... Let's All Laugh At West Ham

[TaoistMonkey]

That David Sullivan ten point guide to really, really pissing off West Ham fans

Sell off historic old ground. Check.
Sell off cups, medals and pictures from old ground. Check
Move into rented accommodation not fit for football. Check
Fit it out as cheaply and tackily as possible. Check.
F*** up transition arrangements and cause fights between home fans. Check.
F*** up stewarding and segregation arrangements and cause fights between home and away fans. Check.
Oversee disastrous transfer window. Check.
Get knocked out of Europe in August. Check
Blow up the old ground for a cheap stunt. Check.

Hmm. That's only nine...

What else should I do? I know. I'll show them how stinking rich I am. I'll appear on a tacky Channel 5 show and let them all see where all the money I got for Upton Park has gone. I'll revel in how many swimming pools I've got while the rain pours onto them from the botched roof of their crappy rented athletics track. I'll show them all my expensive, tacky belongings and then they'll understand why I didn't spend any money on a Centre Back to replace Tomkins. I mean, it's not as if we're going to ship 4 goals every game, is it?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/see-inside-west-ham-owner-8876693

The more I see him at work, the more I start to think he's an evil genius whose sole purpose in life is to troll West Ham fans. I mean, he couldn't really be that much of a tactless, blithering idiot, could he?

Anyway. Channel 5 tonight. 9pm. It promises to be a blast.

I bet its the tackiest place ever. With child sized toilets etc.

 

[dagraham]

I bet its the tackiest place ever. With child sized toilets etc.

Yeah, probably gold dildo shaped bathroom taps as well.

 

[rossdapep]

That David Sullivan ten point guide to really, really pissing off West Ham fans

Sell off historic old ground. Check.
Sell off cups, medals and pictures from old ground. Check
Move into rented accommodation not fit for football. Check
Fit it out as cheaply and tackily as possible. Check.
F*** up transition arrangements and cause fights between home fans. Check.
F*** up stewarding and segregation arrangements and cause fights between home and away fans. Check.
Oversee disastrous transfer window. Check.
Get knocked out of Europe in August. Check
Blow up the old ground for a cheap stunt. Check.

Hmm. That's only nine...

What else should I do? I know. I'll show them how stinking rich I am. I'll appear on a tacky Channel 5 show and let them all see where all the money I got for Upton Park has gone. I'll revel in how many swimming pools I've got while the rain pours onto them from the botched roof of their crappy rented athletics track. I'll show them all my expensive, tacky belongings and then they'll understand why I didn't spend any money on a Centre Back to replace Tomkins. I mean, it's not as if we're going to ship 4 goals every game, is it?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/see-inside-west-ham-owner-8876693

The more I see him at work, the more I start to think he's an evil genius whose sole purpose in life is to troll West Ham fans. I mean, he couldn't really be that much of a tactless, blithering idiot, could he?

Anyway. Channel 5 tonight. 9pm. It promises to be a blast.

Just saw the video.
He has silicone servants.
SILICONE SERVANTS!

 

[Metalhead]

This was the problem, they thought that Bilic, Payet, a bit of extra TV money, and the new stadium would have them in the top 4 and their level of expectation rose beyond the reality.

Just to have repeated last season's league finish would have been an achievement but they were never going to repeat their start of last season so the pressure was going to mount from the first game.

Hopefully, Gold and Sullivan will panic, get shot of Bilic for some helmet like McClaren and the spiral will continue downwards towards relegation.

Imagine Mclaren standing pitchside with his West Ham umbrella in the pissing down rain whilst they're getting tonked.

 

[strummer]

Imagine Mclaren standing pitchside with his West Ham umbrella in the pissing down rain whilst they're getting tonked.

..........by Millwall

 

[Gb160]

Even their legends are sticking the boot in now...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/fo...m-not-football-ground-tells-fans-used-it.html

 

[riggi]

That David Sullivan ten point guide to really, really pissing off West Ham fans

Sell off historic old ground. Check.
Sell off cups, medals and pictures from old ground. Check
Move into rented accommodation not fit for football. Check
Fit it out as cheaply and tackily as possible. Check.
F*** up transition arrangements and cause fights between home fans. Check.
F*** up stewarding and segregation arrangements and cause fights between home and away fans. Check.
Oversee disastrous transfer window. Check.
Get knocked out of Europe in August. Check
Blow up the old ground for a cheap stunt. Check.

Hmm. That's only nine...

What else should I do? I know. I'll show them how stinking rich I am. I'll appear on a tacky Channel 5 show and let them all see where all the money I got for Upton Park has gone. I'll revel in how many swimming pools I've got while the rain pours onto them from the botched roof of their crappy rented athletics track. I'll show them all my expensive, tacky belongings and then they'll understand why I didn't spend any money on a Centre Back to replace Tomkins. I mean, it's not as if we're going to ship 4 goals every game, is it?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/see-inside-west-ham-owner-8876693

The more I see him at work, the more I start to think he's an evil genius whose sole purpose in life is to troll West Ham fans. I mean, he couldn't really be that much of a tactless, blithering idiot, could he?

Anyway. Channel 5 tonight. 9pm. It promises to be a blast.

Do we know where it is?

 

[Col_M]

Even their legends are sticking the boot in now...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/fo...m-not-football-ground-tells-fans-used-it.html

He's obviously miffed at not having a toilet named after him. The Billy Bond Bog was promised to him.

 

[Gb160]

I'm still amazed that they let a film company blow up the Boleyn, it'd be a bit like letting a film company blow up your nan after her funeral.

 

[Col_M]

I'm still amazed that they let a film company blow up the Boleyn, it'd be a bit like letting a film crew blow up your nan after her funeral.

Did they have any say in the matter? They sold it, and the new owner found a way of generating money from the demolition.

 

[DogsOfWar]

Plus they'll struggle in home games because the away teams will always be in a relaxed and positive mood, following at least an hour of belly laughing at their stadium.

Shithouse fans watching shithouse football in a shithouse stadium, the turd triumvirate that could genuinely see them returning to the Championship. It doesn't get better than that.

 

[oskathegobshite]

Relegated either this season or next

 

[DogsOfWar]

Imagine Mclaren standing pitchside with his West Ham umbrella in the pissing down rain whilst they're getting tonked.

And then doing his post-hammering interview in a Ray Winstone style accent.

 

[Metalhead]

And then doing his post-hammering interview in a Ray Winstone style accent.

Oh yeah, the dodgy accent would be a given.

 

[BehindEnemyLines]

Even their legends are sticking the boot in now...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/fo...m-not-football-ground-tells-fans-used-it.html

Surely the Anne Summers Billy Bondage range was a given??????

 

[rossdapep]

Relegated either this season or next

You got an optimistic rating for this but it could happen.

1.) They have no heart and soul - it's been sold off and their new home far from resembles this.
2.) Their defence is an absolute mess. James fucking Collins is a Championship defender at best and Matsuaki has been a dreadful replacement for cress well so far.
3.) They have a large number of players who haven't shown a 'fighting spirit' in Ayew, Tore & Payet, if they get sucked into a relegation battle do you really trust any of these players to put in a shift.
4.) The off-field fighting is likely to transpire onto the pitch. The players are previously mentioned won't give a shit about saving their club if they see fans fighting one another.
5.) There's now serious questions about Bilic and whether or not he knows what he's doing - he does seem to have had a number of these players presented to him without really wanting them - which is never a good recipe.
6.) Their best centre midfielder and captain is Mark Noble. No need for elaborating.
7.) There's a good chance that they will play games in a half full stadium come December with little or no atmosphere.
8.) They rely heavily on Payet, if he chucks it in then they really are in for it.
9.) Their squad is so lop sided, we should know how that effects performances. So many strikers, yet so many players new to the PL. If they keep chopping and changing there's no continuation to help them stabilise.
10.) Every team in the league will relish the prospect of playing at their stadium, probably more so than they will, as soon as the crowd get on their back it plays into the opposition's hands. Your likes of Sean Dyche will be drilling that message into their players.

So yeah, I think it's a very real possibility.

 

[StartingPrice]

That shitty crossed arms 'irons' sign they make. So, so naff.

Oh...it's Irons!

I thought they were saying supporting Spam was like being one of the Walking Dead!

 

[Spurger King]

"Aaaaaand...we're indifferent to West Ham, indifferent to West Ham, we are the West Ham....whatevers."

They're still fucking funny as a mild distraction though, the irrelevant twats.

 

[Cornpattbuck]

This was the problem, they thought that Bilic, Payet, a bit of extra TV money, and the new stadium would have them in the top 4 and their level of expectation rose beyond the reality.

Just to have repeated last season's league finish would have been an achievement but they were never going to repeat their start of last season so the pressure was going to mount from the first game.

Hopefully, Gold and Sullivan will panic, get shot of Bilic for some helmet like McClaren and the spiral will continue downwards towards relegation.

It'll be interesting as for at least the last couple of seasons they've started like a rocket and then faded away. Whether they've thought that through... Not in anyway convinced...

 

[StartingPrice]

You got an optimistic rating for this but it could happen.

1.) They have no heart and soul - it's been sold off and their new home far from resembles this.
2.) Their defence is an absolute mess. James fucking Collins is a Championship defender at best and Matsuaki has been a dreadful replacement for cress well so far.
3.) They have a large number of players who haven't shown a 'fighting spirit' in Ayew, Tore & Payet, if they get sucked into a relegation battle do you really trust any of these players to put in a shift.
4.) The off-field fighting is likely to transpire onto the pitch. The players are previously mentioned won't give a shit about saving their club if they see fans fighting one another.
5.) There's now serious questions about Bilic and whether or not he knows what he's doing - he does seem to have had a number of these players presented to him without really wanting them - which is never a good recipe.
6.) Their best centre midfielder and captain is Mark Noble. No need for elaborating.
7.) There's a good chance that they will play games in a half full stadium come December with little or no atmosphere.
8.) They rely heavily on Payet, if he chucks it in then they really are in for it.
9.) Their squad is so lop sided, we should know how that effects performances. So many strikers, yet so many players new to the PL. If they keep chopping and changing there's no continuation to help them stabilise.
10.) Every team in the league will relish the prospect of playing at their stadium, probably more so than they will, as soon as the crowd get on their back it plays into the opposition's hands. Your likes of Sean Dyche will be drilling that message into their players.

So yeah, I think it's a very real possibility.

I remember when we were in the doo-doo (Harry Redknappp...2 points from 8 games ). Wandery Ramos gave an interview and was asked if we were in a relegation fight. He dismissed it as a ridiculous notion. At approx. the same time Jonathon Wood gave an interview and was asked the same question and his reply was this club is absolutely in a relegation fight. It was at that moment I knew Wandery had lost the dressing room beyond any repair. It wasn't after the eighth game as he was sacked then. So, it was the seventh game or before. We are now five games into this season - you would have to wonder, at what stage do Wet Spam players start believing they are in a relegation fight?