Following Spurs (Football) & Your Mental Health

[PaulM]

I love this club. Went through a real shitty time a few years ago where my whole world came apart in the space of 9 months and Tottenham was the one bright spot albeit we were starting to unravel under Poch at the same time. It was the year we got to the CL final. The night Kane scored in the 1-0 in Dortmund was the same day I was told by the docs that my mum wouldn't make it. The release of emotion when he scored that night was just incredibly powerful.

I've been a Spurs fan for 40 years. Mostly shit years but Spurs have been the one constant. I love this club like nothing else. Obviously my kids come first but it hasn't diminished my love for the club one bit.

When I was a kid, the results would really affect me for a week. They still do to a degree. I'm in a bad mood for the day if we lose or fuck up. But by the next day, I'm grand. I get a higher high from the wins than the lower lows from the defeats. Yeah it sucks being stuck at the airport on the days we lose (the Newcastle game when the flight got delayed to 3am was a particular low point) but all in all, supporting this club, being around fellow fans on matchdays, sharing moments of sheer ecstasy with 60,000 likeminded folks is one of the best feelings in the world. And I can see my boy going the same way which is great because we have really bonded through Spurs.

I hate you Tottenham because I'm hopelessly in love with you.

 

[JUSTINSIGNAL]

But my question is have any of you been able to change your mind set to not give a shit and if you have what did you do?

I find not going on here or engaging with any social media helps my mood after a defeat. Yes it still hurts but I really see no constructive argument for wallowing in misery or discussing the same points over and over again. There is literally nothing positive that comes from that.

It’s helps I have two small kids to keep me occupied so they are a welcome distraction at weekends.

 

[easley91]

I realised losses/poor performances were upsetting me far too much and affecting things at home so I decided to tone down my support and interest in all things Spurs. And it is working. Still love of course us winning but just ignore the losses and definitely don't come into and post in this forum. SC is so negative these days it cannot be good for anyones health.

Basically where I am at these days. When I was younger I got so angry over losses (no matter if we played well or not). Now I just brush it off for the most part, though the odd one does irk for up to a few days. However, in those instances I just switch off from football and focus on the other things I do enjoy.

This forum, and in fact most social media are rife with negativity (not just Spurs related) and it doesn't help when you're surrounded by it 24/7. Found myself not visiting here or twitter as much the past couple of days.

 

[fishhhandaricecake]

This is not the thread to be discussing the style of play you do or don't like.

It is when it directly effects mental health which is the title of the thread
#asyouwere

 

[spurs mental]

It is when it directly effects mental health which is the title of the thread
#asyouwere

The thread is more about how people avoid the the frustration and anger after games.

If your being serious and your mental health is genuinely effected by something totally out of your control, something as small as a teams style of play, I'm not sure it's healthy to continue watching.

Seems like every single post of yours references style of play even when you aren't directly talking about Spurs recently.

 

[fishhhandaricecake]

The thread is more about how people avoid the the frustration and anger after games.

If your being serious and your mental health is genuinely effected by something totally out of your control, something as small as a teams style of play, I'm not sure it's healthy to continue watching.

Seems like every single post of yours references style of play even when you aren't directly talking about Spurs recently.

That is your opinion mate. I've explained my view where I explained my overall feeling to Spurs and its impact on my or others mental health good and bad which as per your 2nd line you've clearly not read the style of play is one element which effects the enjoyment of watching spurs and the environment and atmosphere within the grounds all of which directly effect peoples moods, enjoyment, frustration and mental health, it is just one element but it is an important element to me and many others, its not however as simplified as you're making out.

Anyways, lets not derail this thread with a back and forth you and I as there is some good conversation in here and we are all giving our views and supporting and helping each other.

 

[MR_BEN]

Thanks @spurs mental for pointing me to this thread

So posting what I posted in the Conte thread

I'm trying to not give a shit about spurs but I just can't as I've supported them as early as I can remember and I'm now 37

But when we lose/don't win the people that I care about and care about me seem to be walking on eggshells as I'm visibly moody.

I don't shout or get violent but I just sulk and don't say anything for hours unless I'm out and have to interact. Obviously this affects my enjoyment on nights out. But after reflection I feel like why should I care its only a game and then I'm ok again until the next game we lose

I just wish I could follow the team but not let the outcome affect me but can't. I'm sure I'm not alone with this. My dad is also a massive fan and it affects him just as much to the point after a defeat we don't actually talk about it as we will just argue despite agreeing which is weird

This website is so good but I tend to be in autopilot and always log in and always go to the same threads and read the same posts over and over again just worded differently. I go on the Conte thread and Levy thread but everything that has been said has been said in every single way but I'm still drawn to it. I feel it helps as I'm not alone with these feelings but at the same time there's so much negativity and most of it within reason that it also hinders

But my question is have any of you been able to change your mind set to not give a shit and if you have what did you do?

yes. 100% I have.

How? I’m sure some of it may just be down to age, and growing up (I’m 40 now, and realise there are much bigger things in life than football….), but aside from that, similar to other peoples responses….

I removed myself from, or blocked most spurs related social media pages so I don’t get drawn into the negativity.

I don’t visit here anywhere near as much as I used to either, and almost never on matchdays where it’s often just negativity, and people arguing… repeating the same crap for 100 pages.

other than that - I also think not drinking before, during & after games also helps, as intoxication can exaggerate both the lows and the highs and helps you to lose perspective.

The above aren’t just things I apply to football though, I done the same in many other areas of my life… less social media, less internet - and less giving a fuck about things I can’t control

 

[PaulM]

yes. 100% I have.

How? I’m sure some of it may just be down to age, and growing up (I’m 40 now, and realise there are much bigger things in life than football….), but aside from that, similar to other peoples responses….

I removed myself from, or blocked most spurs related social media pages so I don’t get drawn into the negativity.

I don’t visit here anywhere near as much as I used to either, and almost never on matchdays where it’s often just negativity, and people arguing… repeating the same crap for 100 pages.

other than that - I also think not drinking before, during & after games also helps, as intoxication can exaggerate both the lows and the highs and helps you to lose perspective.

The above aren’t just things I apply to football though, I done the same in many other areas of my life… less social media, less internet - and less giving a fuck about things I can’t control

I don't do social media really but I'd been pushed into setting up a Facebook account. The amount of absolute bollox, and nasty bollox at that, I see on there infuriates me. I have to stop looking but, as much as I complain about other fan bases, we have our fair share of cockwombles.

I really hope our players steer clear of it. I know they're well paid but from a mental health standpoint, some of the bile written on Facebook and Twitter could destroy a person.

 

[spurs mental]

CAN WE STICKY THIS THREAD PLEASE.

 

[beats1]

Are spurs fans susceptible to depression because they support spurs?
or
Do they support spurs because they are susceptible to depression?

 

[Trent Crimm]

When you renew membership they should change out the key ring or scarf and add citolopram instead.

 

[TheChosenOne]

Are spurs fans susceptible to depression because they support spurs?
or
Do they support spurs because they are susceptible to depression?

There’s an interdependency between the two, feeding off each other.
.
Maybe a new Amazon doc would help - call it “All for nothing”
Twelve matches left for the season and I don’t think I Will bother. Got to break this cycle of madness and despair.

 

[coy-spurs1882]

I have no interest in things other than spurs at all. There is no joy in this f**king world. It's 3am and I am still typing this shit

 

[tooey]

I've not watched us religiously for around 2 years or so now. I didn't miss a game for the previous 15 years. The start of not really being invested came when I entered a pretty serious depression following the separation from the mother of my son. I found that during that period of time watching spurs lose would actually make me really low for 24 hours or so. I know it's only football but I guess when a trivial disappointment is mixed with a much bigger issue it can be really detrimental to your wellbeing.

Long story short, I'm a much happier man these days. Unfortunately I just don't have the same desire to watch spurs anymore. I still look at the scores, occasionally log in to SC and catch the occasional game (6 or 7 this season) but that's about it. I'll always be a spurs fan and I'll still chat football with people but I just don't have the emotional tie to it that I once had, probably for self-preservation emotionally. Maybe one day I'll get back the desire but for now I'm happy being a casual fan who wants us to win but doesn't tie his whole mood that week on how spurs are doing.

 

[For the love of Spurs]

I hate that I love this club. It’s in my blood but everything about it from the ticket prices to the toxic ownership just makes me feel bad. I don’t enjoy Spurs anymore, I say this with full memory of the 1990’s. Last 4 years of awful football, soulless governance makes it all a chores.

This is honestly hand on heart the worst period supporting this club, no direction, no enjoyment and worst of all to me the board look like they view the fans as a bunch of mugs to be milked.

Our owner is so opposite to the ‘’DNA’’ of this club it’s remarkable. A historic cup winning team that plays nice attractive football to whatever this is. If we are going to play like crap and be crap then price the stadium correctly.

 

[UncleBuck]

Basically where I am at these days. When I was younger I got so angry over losses (no matter if we played well or not). Now I just brush it off for the most part, though the odd one does irk for up to a few days. However, in those instances I just switch off from football and focus on the other things I do enjoy.

This forum, and in fact most social media are rife with negativity (not just Spurs related) and it doesn't help when you're surrounded by it 24/7. Found myself not visiting here or twitter as much the past couple of days.

I’ve had zero expectations for far too long now, having seen Newcastle lose it was blindingly obvious we’d cock up, we always do.
I’m more worried about my 8 year old who when they went 2 up said he didn’t want to support spurs any more. We then equalise and there’s hardly any response from him, apart from we’ll still lose.
Then they score the third and he’s in tears throwing cushions around the living room.
Sport is meant to be fun, not what I’ve seen today.
We are going to lose a significant amount of younger supporters and it all sits on Levy’s shoulders, you can’t expect to attract supporters if you don’t perform on the pitch or win anything.

 

[fishhhandaricecake]

I have no interest in things other than spurs at all. There is no joy in this f**king world. It's 3am and I am still typing this shit

Try balance things out mate Spurs is for life but we can’t control it so it’s good to have other things to keep your mind and body active also, exercise, other sports, social stuff, work passions, cook nice food, family time, time in nature etc, don’t let spurs define your moods as much.

It took me a while to realise this, easier said than done when we are so passionate about something but it does help doing this approach to then actually enjoy spurs if/when they do entertain you or win etc

Peace out bro

 

[Hoddlegenius]

You only have to go to a game to see the impact Spurs have on people’s mental state!

 

[ultimateloner]

OP writes well. Great read.
My 2-cents would be to detach from Spurs.
It's not worth the love and attention you are giving it.

 

[coy-spurs1882]

Try balance things out mate Spurs is for life but we can’t control it so it’s good to have other things to keep your mind and body active also, exercise, other sports, social stuff, work passions, cook nice food, family time, time in nature etc, don’t let spurs define your moods as much.

It took me a while to realise this, easier said than done when we are so passionate about something but it does help doing this approach to then actually enjoy spurs if/when they do entertain you or win etc

Peace out bro

Thanks mate. Now trying to find other things that would interest me to distract me from football