Let's All Laugh At... Let's all laugh at Liverpool thread

[jonnyp]

If you just watched Liverpool games, then I don't think you'd have particularly rated Tottenham last season.
We did not show any quality at Anfield.
The best thing you can say about it, and it is quite a big positive, is that we did not lose confidence and won the next game well (Stoke) and continued our challenge.

We looked horrible in both matches against Pool last season. Couldn't handle their pressing and pace in the final third.

 

[UncleBuck]

Dean Saunders said on the radio that if they sell Coutinho, they should target Harry Kane AND Dele Alli as Spurs are a selling club because we sold Walker.
An actual human being said that...

Yea, he seems to be half cut every time I hear him on the radio and talks less sense than Mick Quinn.
Porton Down need to experiment on him as he appears to be quite unique.

 

[Ron Burgundy]

Dean Saunders said on the radio that if they sell Coutinho, they should target Harry Kane AND Dele Alli as Spurs are a selling club because we sold Walker.
An actual human being said that...

It's just a bizarre thing to say, and shows a total lack of knowledge and judgement

 

[Gb160]

It's just a bizarre thing to say, and shows a total lack of knowledge and judgement

It's amazing they're paid to give these opinions, although it's just the sort of thing that Liverpool fans want to hear so I think that's got a lot to do with it...it's class a, weapons grade, industrial strength stupid.

 

[sebo_sek]

It's just a bizarre thing to say, and shows a total lack of knowledge and judgement

And somehow Liverpool selling Coutinho DOESN'T make them a selling club

 

[mark87]

And somehow Liverpool selling Coutinho DOESN'T make them a selling club

They never will be, the press wouldn't dare call them that

 

[bomberH]

Phil Thompson on it now. It's never ending.

https://mobile.twitter.com/hitcliverpool/status/898643183395098625

It's so pathetic it's hilarious. We've finished above them around 7 out of the last 8 seasons and we regularly beat them to mutual targets over the last 10 years, I could understand if they'd won the league consistently but saying they should sign Dele is like us saying we should sign Mbappe. Ain't gonna happen. But as long as ex scouse pundits are on tv, which they always are, we will hear this shit over and over again.

 

[RickyVilla]

 

[UncleBuck]

Phil Thompson on it now. It's never ending.

https://mobile.twitter.com/hitcliverpool/status/898643183395098625

It's so pathetic it's hilarious. We've finished above them around 7 out of the last 8 seasons and we regularly beat them to mutual targets over the last 10 years, I could understand if they'd won the league consistently but saying they should sign Dele is like us saying we should sign Mbappe. Ain't gonna happen. But as long as ex scouse pundits are on tv, which they always are, we will hear this shit over and over again.

If we get rid of the spam rating can we replace it with a special delusional Liverpool rating just for giggles?
I heard an evertonian on the radio yesterday saying it was so funny because they always think 'it's their year'!

 

[BehindEnemyLines]

The following post on Redcafe (regarding the quoted RAWK post) actually made me laugh out laugh - it is a genius analysis and opinion!

Yesterday at 22:14
#2001
Elastic FishFull Member
Joined:
Apr 20, 2015
Messages:
27
↑
Oh Gawd

.

.SpoilerTarget">Spoiler: all of this apparently

#21 & #8 work the ball out of flank squaring it between Can & Hendo to #7. #16 is now running off the back of Mane who is ball watching for no reason at all. Literally just standing looking at the ball.

We are still okay there. I think at this point Gini should see that Mane has lost his man and take responsibility. But as #16 is about to enter a zone Gini is in, that shouldnt be a problem. Salah could also see that Gini is about to have a problem to deal with and take #14 who (at the moment) he thinks Gini has.

Everyone else is touch tight to their man. It´s impossible to see how 2 people will be unmarked in just 2 seconds time.

What happens next?

The square ball into midfield becomes a race to the ball between Moreno & #7. Moreno is likely to come out second best because he is behind #7 however because #16 is now unmarked running onto the ball, Moreno feels he has to attempt to win the ball to cut out an easy square pass.

Gini should be stepping across to pick up #16 run now. Isn´t.
Can, Henderson & Mane all make the collective decision to do nothing.
#8 runs off the back of Can. Despite him running into Moreno´s zone, he cannot be responsible for him as the last he saw, #8 and #21 were marked by Hendo and Can. His sole responsibility is #7.
#7 touches the ball off to #16 - both #7 and Moreno end up on the ground (seems Amrabat slips under pressure and the both go down)

Wait, how the feck did that happen?

The only Liverpool player that has moved since the last picture is Moreno. Gini hasn't moved across at all. Can is standing in literally the exact same place. Mane & Henderson gave up on any plan of tracking runners. Salah is in the vacinity of 2 Watford players so I think he is blameless.

How did #8 get there unmarked? (Hendo & Can)
Should Lovren have stepped across towards #8 yet when he saw him starting to make that run? Probably, but that is a minor thing compared to just letting him go.
Gini should have closed that gap and be in position to challenge #16 at this point. Mane also shouldn´t have let him go though.
What are Henderson and Can doing now? They are central midfielders standing on the left flank doing nothing.
Matip and TAA look good although TAA has his back to a player so needs to be aware of him.

What happens next?
#16 receives the layoff from #7. Plays in #8 unmarked.
Gini wakes up and starts tracking #16 but he is past him already
Lovren doesn´t do a great job closing down #8, possible afraid of being isolated and beaten? But this is still a minor thing.

Off screen I have no doubt that Can, Henderson & Mane are still standing in the same positions.
Moreno & #7 have been taken out of the game.
#8 has received the ball unmarked in the penalty area.
Lovren has made a vertical run backwards rather than angled towards the #8.
Matip looks good. TAA looks okay as long as he is aware of #37
Gini is fecked.
Salah takes up a good position to pick up anything that breaks to the edge of the box for people following it up.
Question: Is that a good position for Mignolet? I don´t know because I don´t understand goalkeeping. My worry is he is outside the widths of his posts. Any ball between him and TAA, for example, is an easy tapin. Or any cut back to Doucoure gives him the whole goal to aim at. Could he protect his near post but not step out that far? Again - I don´t know the answers here, just thinking out loud.

What happens next?
The ball is played between towards the back post.
Lovren slides, but cannot cut it out.
Mignolet cannot cut it out and is now in no mans land somewhat scrambling to get across his goal.
Matip & #33 end up on the ground.
TAA attempts to clear the ball but hits #33 on the ground. It breaks into the path of #16

TAA panicked a little bit and basically just blasted his clearance back where it came from. He should has got his foot under the ball to get height on it aiming to get it out for a corner or throwin. I can understand his reluctance to kick it out for a corner incase he inadvertently ends up putting it in his own net.
Mignolet ends up on the ground while trying to scramble across. Not brilliant but even if he hadn't, he likely wouldn't make it across. My only questionmark on him in this whole passage of play was stepping out so far to protect his near post. It just looked wrong, but not something I would feel confident in my knowledge enough to say it's a mistake per se. It just looked off.

What happens next?
Goal.

Responsibility?

In terms of involvement in the goal in reverse order:-
Goal itself:- Mignolet (maybe) could have done a little better. Questionable.
#16 Doucoure:- TAA fluffed his clearance, but it was a very difficult one to get right given the speed it all happened. I said before low, driven crosses don't need to pick people out, they just create mayhem that results in goals as they are the hardest cross to defend. This is a great example.
Gini lets Doucoure run into his zone, should have closed him down.
Mane lets Doucoure go, who runs off the back of him into Gini's zone
#8 Cleverly:-
Lovren could have done more to close him down and maybe cut out the cross
Hendo (Primary) or Can (Secondary) should have tracked him.
Hendo & Can could have done better pressing him not letting him out of that area on the flank perhaps.
#7 Amrabat
Moreno let Amrabat win the race to the ball, although was always second favourite. Ended up on the ground with Amrabat effectively taking them both out of the passage of play. Moreno & Matip are the only people who remained touch tight with the person they were marking. The player Moreno was marking never faced goal or went in the direction of goal. Therefore Amrabat was never a threat in the passage of play. It was only the inaction of others that resulted in the threat.

Click to expand...


Christ it's like a game of postal correspondence football. For only £12:99 monthly you can receive 4 (four) thrilling first-class posted real-paper letters with painstaking and irrelevant analysis accompanied by pictures taken by a phone even Nokia don't sell anymore. It's all you need minus the fake tan to become as full of footballing shite as Brendan Rodgers™. He keeps saying 'what happens next' like its some kind of comedy catch-phrase that the kids at home can say along with him.

Around 850 years ago my cousin Vinnie was fired by Henry II (Count of Anjou, Maine and Nantes, Duke of Normandy and Aquitaine - the latter by virtue of his wife, the lady Eleanor of Aquitaine, and King of England) for some pretty similar stuff. He was weaving tapestries at the time and kept adding way too much text, which was really pretty superfluous considering most people couldn't even read at the time. He maintains to this day that it was an unjust dismissal but at the end of the day you can't get away with an inferior end-product so I think he got what he deserved. Also tapestries as an art-form may have been on the way out, but it's easy with the benefit of several centuries' hindsight to blame long-term trends for individual events. Vinnie should have seen the artistic tastes of the Western European chivalric class changing; Liverpool should have adapted when the back-pass rule was introduced. Neither of them did and I laugh at them both. If anyone wants a tapestry done I know a guy who can set you up, although he's eligible to do knightly service for the Angevin dynasty for 40 days a year so bear that in mind.

 

[Johnny J]

They really should just sell Coutinho. I admire their obstinacy, to some extent. But, even tho value is what someone will pay, nearly everyone would say he's overpriced.

 

[Johnny J]

They really should just sell Coutinho. I admire their obstinacy, to some extent. But, even tho value is what someone will pay, nearly everyone would say he's overpriced.

Thanks, TommyT. Nothing like a doh rating with no discussion.

 

[Mustard]

They really should just sell Coutinho. I admire their obstinacy, to some extent. But, even tho value is what someone will pay, nearly everyone would say he's overpriced.

They will sell him.

Tommy is saying d'oh because you argue against yourself.

 

[thebenjamin]

I don't reckon they will sell him.

 

[Col_M]

That's a very funny post on RedCafe.

 

[Krule]

Offer reportedly up to £136m now..(It is The Sun though)...that surely has to seriously considered by Liverpool although Barca do themselves no bargaining favours. They issue a deadline ultimatum and then put in another bid after it passes. You can just imagine Levy in such a situation...he'd be drooling now and holding on for even more.
I think he'll go, it's a huge sum of money and the player wants to leave...no point in making him stay if he's not happy in the dressing room and on the pitch.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/foot...ppe-coutinho-finally-break-liverpool-resolve/

 

[spursfan77]

Phil Thompson on it now. It's never ending.

https://mobile.twitter.com/hitcliverpool/status/898643183395098625

It's so pathetic it's hilarious. We've finished above them around 7 out of the last 8 seasons and we regularly beat them to mutual targets over the last 10 years, I could understand if they'd won the league consistently but saying they should sign Dele is like us saying we should sign Mbappe. Ain't gonna happen. But as long as ex scouse pundits are on tv, which they always are, we will hear this shit over and over again.

He was a Gerrard fan not a Liverpool fan, wasn't he? They can't believe everyone doesn't love their club though in fairness.

 

[robbiedee]

Offer reportedly up to £136m now..(It is The Sun though)...that surely has to seriously considered by Liverpool although Barca do themselves no bargaining favours. They issue a deadline ultimatum and then put in another bid after it passes. You can just imagine Levy in such a situation...he'd be drooling now and holding on for even more.
I think he'll go, it's a huge sum of money and the player wants to leave...no point in making him stay if he's not happy in the dressing room and on the pitch.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/foot...ppe-coutinho-finally-break-liverpool-resolve/

Just reading some stuff from Guilem Ballbag on Sky saying that Coutinho has asked fro Barca to make one last improved bid. Barca don't think Liverpool will sell now but in order to not upset L'il Phil and maintain chances of signing him in the future, Barca are going to make that bid knowing it will go nowhere.

Utter Madness

 

[Armstrong_11]

I am gonna sad when this Coutinho thing comes to an end...

Yesterday the news was barca ending their interesting in him... And that Liverpool will welcome him with open arms and everything about sending a transfer request and demanding a move will be forgiven.

And today there is a new bid... Seriously u can't make this stuff up.

 

[Hoopspur]

Whatever the final amount, and if he does go, then he had better be good. Not just good, but fuckin' good. Just imagine £136m smackers and he rocks up at Barcelona and is just 'ok' or even 'alright.....'

Edit - my question to you all is 'if we had the chance to sign him for say £50m then should we or spend the money on someone else then should we?'