Heres the original and somewhat funnier version from glory-glory
The Club can confirm that it has asked Ethel O'Rouke, Official Club Tea Lady, to step down with immediate effect.
Ethel joined the kitchen staff in 1918, in which time she has made over two million cups of tea. Unfortunately, Ethel sustained a career-threatening hip injury in 2004, and - to be frank - the tea has never been the same since.
"Ethel has been a committed and enthusiastic member of the Kitchen staff and we should like to thank her for her contribution and hard work. We all wish her well in celebrating her 90th birthday next month," said Sporting Director Damien Comolli.
"Ethel has been a loyal servant for this club. But so have many - including me. Tea is fundamental to ensure that the business operates to its maximum potential. Unfortunately, the board felt that Ethel was losing her touch - not to mention her eyesight. We thank Ethel for her work," said Chairman Daniel Levy.
"Fuck off Daniel - fo' shizzle my nizzle," said the departing Ethel.
Betty Dumbleweed, our Academy Tea Lady, will take over the making of the tea in the interim. An announcement regarding a new permanent appointment will be made in due course.
This wonderful thread reminded me of the day when The Dark Knight of Chigwell aka Alan S***r ordered that biscuits with tea be chopped as part of a cost-cutting measure...
Ha ha, say what you like about Levy but at least the man leaves the fucking biscuits alone!!!!!
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