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- Aug 16, 2003
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http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/kenny-sansom-homeless-suicide-arsenal-5837774
Homeless and alcoholic former Arsenal ace Kenny Sansom’s heartbreaking confession: I’m close to suicide
Passed out on the grass with a bottle of booze, England ace Kenny Sansom has hit rock bottom.
Our shocking photos, taken days after his former club Arsenal’s FA Cup triumph at Wembley, show him as a shadow of the player regularly voted one of the country’s finest defenders.
But these are the images Kenny believes could help save his life.
“I do need help, I know I do,” he says candidly.
“I’m happy for these pictures to be used because as horrible as it is, it shows me as I am at the moment.”
In a highly emotional interview, the 56-year-old bravely admits to:
However, he has accepted a lifeline offer from former team-mate Tony Adams to go into rehab in an attempt to beat his demons.
Kenny, who played in three Wembley cup finals and won 86 caps for England during a glittering 20-year career, has decided to speak out because he is ready to accept help after years of self-abuse.
The Sunday Mirror is now working with the Professional Footballer’s Association and the Sporting Chance clinic to help Kenny.
Just weeks ago, he spent a night in the cells for being drunk and disorderly after downing five bottles of wine.
He was arrested and fined following a row with his girlfriend Denise Mullins after she locked him out of her house. The pair have now broken up.
Looking dishevelled and broken, the former Sky Sports pundit wipes away tears as he describes how his life has spiralled out of control.
Eight days ago, when Arsenal won the cup, he was drunk in a betting shop. He cannot remember the game.
“I was so out of it, I wasn’t interested,” he said, “I love Arsenal but I didn’t care. At the moment, if I could have two tablets I would take them to die. I don’t want to live. What have I got to live for?”
Glancing at the images of himself lying in the park, he continues: “I look at those pictures and I just think, ‘Kenny, what are you doing?’ I hate it.
“I’m gonna give it my best go to finally beat this now. Look at the state of me – I’ve got a big problem with my alcohol and my gambling.
“I hope this wake-up call will save my life.”
Kenny is telling his story sitting in a hotel just yards from the patch sleeps rough.
He regularly stays at the hotel, banking on the mercy of the owner to offer him a cheap room.
Kenny, who earned £1,200 a week in his heyday, now has a monthly income of just £622.
The cash is his PFA pension and half of that goes to ex-wife Elaine, who he left saddled with debt.
Kenny squanders the rest on booze and gambling.
He says: “I’ve been in this hotel before and I’ve had six bottles of wine, four bottles of Night Nurse and four bottles of other drugs.
“I did it because I wanted to die. I’ve done it several times. I just don’t want to be around. That’s how sad I feel about myself.
"I’ve said so many times to people, ‘have you got
any pills?’ I’ve got no money in the bank now, nothing.
“I don’t know what to do. I’ve got nothing, I just go to sleep on the street.
“I’ve got nowhere to live. I don’t own a car, I don’t have a house, I’ve got no money, I’ve got no partner,
“All my money has gone on drink and to the betting shop. I ain’t even got a phone at the minute.
“Right now I feel like I’ll never stop drinking. I can’t envisage that.
“The way I feel right now I feel like the only thing that could stop me drinking would be being dead.
“I just don’t want to be around, I don’t want to be living the horrible life that I’m living.”
Describing how his days are now spent he adds: “I woke up at 7am this morning and the first thing I did was have a drink.
"I had a bottle of Mateus Rose wine. That’s what I always drink. I drink because it makes me feel better.
“I’m an alcoholic. It makes me feel better about my emotions.
“I’m drinking Night Nurse like I drink alcohol at the moment.
“The other night I drank a bottle then staggered all the way to my daughter’s house at 11pm. I fell over five times.
“I got there and she said to me, ‘Dad, you can’t do this anymore’.”
Kenny, who also played for Crystal Palace, QPR, Newcastle United and Everton, goes on: “I’ve got no money. I’ve only got my pension. I just need somewhere to live – just a room.
“I don’t need a fridge or a TV. I just need somewhere to sleep, somewhere to feel safe. It might sound silly, but that’s all I want.
"I just need to stay somewhere where I can feel a bit comfortable and to know at the end of the day I can go there and put my head down and have a cover and sleep.
“I feel like a little dog really. It might give me an opportunity to find work.”
At the root of Kenny’s problems is a broken heart. He says has never got over the split from his wife of 29 years. They broke up after he cheated on her.
Splitting from his new partner sent him further down the path to oblivion.
The former star – who also used to carry out guided stadium tours at Arsenal – worked as a scaffolder last year while also doing match day hospitality for Crystal Palace.
He lost his job at the end of the season for being drunk at Selhurst Park.
Kenny says: “I’ve only got myself to blame. Having a drink makes me forget what I’ve done. I’ve got to say the truth – I’m a coward and I don’t deal with life, I really don’t.
“People are going to judge me, I know they are, but I’m not a bad person, I’m not perfect that’s for sure, but I f****d up.
“Money, my ex-wife, there’s a lot of things I could have done better. It’s my fault, all the things I feel sad about, it’s my fault and I can’t blame anyone else.
“I lost my wife, that hurts me a lot. She was beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
“It’s my own fault. I ain’t gonna blame anyone else because I did it. I didn’t mean to do it, but I did.
“I’ve just broken up with my partner. I got a bit drunk and I just drunk my way out of the flat really.
"She kicked me out of her house because I was abusive when I was drunk. We were together nine years.
“But my ex-wife was my No1. She was my girlfriend from the age of 12. We were childhood sweethearts. She’s very special to me. She was the best woman I’ve ever had – my dream.
“I’ve f****d up big time and that’s what hurts me. I’ve lost her.
“She saw me in Morrison’s the other day apparently. I spoke to my daughter and she said, ‘Mum saw you and said you look rough’. That hurt me. I just want to tell her I love her.”
With the help of the PFA, Kenny is due to check into a private detox clinic this week for specialist treatment.
PFA head of player welfare Michael Bennett, also an ex-footballer, said: “We’ve supported Kenny in the past and will continue to help him in any way we can.
“He has been a major pro star footballer and it’s clear he’s now struggling with life after football. We’re his union and we’re there for him.”
Kenny is also expected to receive support and treatment at Sporting Chance clinic later this month after we spoke to founder Tony Adams.
The Sunday Mirror has paid for a hotel room to keep Kenny off the streets.
He says: “I just want help now. I’m ready. It’s up to me now. I know that and I’ll do my best. You’ve [Sunday Mirror] helped me and I want to thank you for that.
“The only thing that keeps me going is that I know if I die, I can’t help anyone. That’s what I want to be able to do.
“I want to be able to help someone else because I know how much it’s cost me and if I can help someone I wanna give it to them.
"I really mean that. But I know you can’t help anyone until you help yourself. I know I’ve got something there I can do.”
He continues: “I feel like the thing I really need is counselling.
“I’ve been to rehab before, I went to the same place as Gazza in Bournemouth but I wasn’t ready to accept the help.
“I wanted to drink. I’ve been to meetings before, but it’s difficult. People tell you stories, but I don’t want to hear those stories. I hate the truth. I’m a selfish git.
“In the end the only person who can help me is me, isn’t it?”
Homeless and alcoholic former Arsenal ace Kenny Sansom’s heartbreaking confession: I’m close to suicide
- 23:00, 6 JUNE 2015
- BY PATRICK HILL
Passed out on the grass with a bottle of booze, England ace Kenny Sansom has hit rock bottom.
Our shocking photos, taken days after his former club Arsenal’s FA Cup triumph at Wembley, show him as a shadow of the player regularly voted one of the country’s finest defenders.
But these are the images Kenny believes could help save his life.
“I do need help, I know I do,” he says candidly.
“I’m happy for these pictures to be used because as horrible as it is, it shows me as I am at the moment.”
In a highly emotional interview, the 56-year-old bravely admits to:
- Feeling suicidal and wanting to end it all by “taking a tablet”.
- Being homeless and often sleeping rough in the park or on the street.
- Starting each day by downing a bottle of rose wine and necking bottles of Night Nurse to sleep.
- Drinking himself close to death because he never got over his split from his wife.
However, he has accepted a lifeline offer from former team-mate Tony Adams to go into rehab in an attempt to beat his demons.
Kenny, who played in three Wembley cup finals and won 86 caps for England during a glittering 20-year career, has decided to speak out because he is ready to accept help after years of self-abuse.
The Sunday Mirror is now working with the Professional Footballer’s Association and the Sporting Chance clinic to help Kenny.
Just weeks ago, he spent a night in the cells for being drunk and disorderly after downing five bottles of wine.
He was arrested and fined following a row with his girlfriend Denise Mullins after she locked him out of her house. The pair have now broken up.
Looking dishevelled and broken, the former Sky Sports pundit wipes away tears as he describes how his life has spiralled out of control.
Eight days ago, when Arsenal won the cup, he was drunk in a betting shop. He cannot remember the game.
“I was so out of it, I wasn’t interested,” he said, “I love Arsenal but I didn’t care. At the moment, if I could have two tablets I would take them to die. I don’t want to live. What have I got to live for?”
Glancing at the images of himself lying in the park, he continues: “I look at those pictures and I just think, ‘Kenny, what are you doing?’ I hate it.
“I’m gonna give it my best go to finally beat this now. Look at the state of me – I’ve got a big problem with my alcohol and my gambling.
“I hope this wake-up call will save my life.”
Kenny is telling his story sitting in a hotel just yards from the patch sleeps rough.
He regularly stays at the hotel, banking on the mercy of the owner to offer him a cheap room.
Kenny, who earned £1,200 a week in his heyday, now has a monthly income of just £622.
The cash is his PFA pension and half of that goes to ex-wife Elaine, who he left saddled with debt.
Kenny squanders the rest on booze and gambling.
He says: “I’ve been in this hotel before and I’ve had six bottles of wine, four bottles of Night Nurse and four bottles of other drugs.
“I did it because I wanted to die. I’ve done it several times. I just don’t want to be around. That’s how sad I feel about myself.
"I’ve said so many times to people, ‘have you got
any pills?’ I’ve got no money in the bank now, nothing.
“I don’t know what to do. I’ve got nothing, I just go to sleep on the street.
“I’ve got nowhere to live. I don’t own a car, I don’t have a house, I’ve got no money, I’ve got no partner,
“All my money has gone on drink and to the betting shop. I ain’t even got a phone at the minute.
“Right now I feel like I’ll never stop drinking. I can’t envisage that.
“The way I feel right now I feel like the only thing that could stop me drinking would be being dead.
“I just don’t want to be around, I don’t want to be living the horrible life that I’m living.”
Describing how his days are now spent he adds: “I woke up at 7am this morning and the first thing I did was have a drink.
"I had a bottle of Mateus Rose wine. That’s what I always drink. I drink because it makes me feel better.
“I’m an alcoholic. It makes me feel better about my emotions.
“I’m drinking Night Nurse like I drink alcohol at the moment.
“The other night I drank a bottle then staggered all the way to my daughter’s house at 11pm. I fell over five times.
“I got there and she said to me, ‘Dad, you can’t do this anymore’.”
Kenny, who also played for Crystal Palace, QPR, Newcastle United and Everton, goes on: “I’ve got no money. I’ve only got my pension. I just need somewhere to live – just a room.
“I don’t need a fridge or a TV. I just need somewhere to sleep, somewhere to feel safe. It might sound silly, but that’s all I want.
"I just need to stay somewhere where I can feel a bit comfortable and to know at the end of the day I can go there and put my head down and have a cover and sleep.
“I feel like a little dog really. It might give me an opportunity to find work.”
At the root of Kenny’s problems is a broken heart. He says has never got over the split from his wife of 29 years. They broke up after he cheated on her.
Splitting from his new partner sent him further down the path to oblivion.
The former star – who also used to carry out guided stadium tours at Arsenal – worked as a scaffolder last year while also doing match day hospitality for Crystal Palace.
He lost his job at the end of the season for being drunk at Selhurst Park.
Kenny says: “I’ve only got myself to blame. Having a drink makes me forget what I’ve done. I’ve got to say the truth – I’m a coward and I don’t deal with life, I really don’t.
“People are going to judge me, I know they are, but I’m not a bad person, I’m not perfect that’s for sure, but I f****d up.
“Money, my ex-wife, there’s a lot of things I could have done better. It’s my fault, all the things I feel sad about, it’s my fault and I can’t blame anyone else.
“I lost my wife, that hurts me a lot. She was beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
“It’s my own fault. I ain’t gonna blame anyone else because I did it. I didn’t mean to do it, but I did.
“I’ve just broken up with my partner. I got a bit drunk and I just drunk my way out of the flat really.
"She kicked me out of her house because I was abusive when I was drunk. We were together nine years.
“But my ex-wife was my No1. She was my girlfriend from the age of 12. We were childhood sweethearts. She’s very special to me. She was the best woman I’ve ever had – my dream.
“I’ve f****d up big time and that’s what hurts me. I’ve lost her.
“She saw me in Morrison’s the other day apparently. I spoke to my daughter and she said, ‘Mum saw you and said you look rough’. That hurt me. I just want to tell her I love her.”
With the help of the PFA, Kenny is due to check into a private detox clinic this week for specialist treatment.
PFA head of player welfare Michael Bennett, also an ex-footballer, said: “We’ve supported Kenny in the past and will continue to help him in any way we can.
“He has been a major pro star footballer and it’s clear he’s now struggling with life after football. We’re his union and we’re there for him.”
Kenny is also expected to receive support and treatment at Sporting Chance clinic later this month after we spoke to founder Tony Adams.
The Sunday Mirror has paid for a hotel room to keep Kenny off the streets.
He says: “I just want help now. I’m ready. It’s up to me now. I know that and I’ll do my best. You’ve [Sunday Mirror] helped me and I want to thank you for that.
“The only thing that keeps me going is that I know if I die, I can’t help anyone. That’s what I want to be able to do.
“I want to be able to help someone else because I know how much it’s cost me and if I can help someone I wanna give it to them.
"I really mean that. But I know you can’t help anyone until you help yourself. I know I’ve got something there I can do.”
He continues: “I feel like the thing I really need is counselling.
“I’ve been to rehab before, I went to the same place as Gazza in Bournemouth but I wasn’t ready to accept the help.
“I wanted to drink. I’ve been to meetings before, but it’s difficult. People tell you stories, but I don’t want to hear those stories. I hate the truth. I’m a selfish git.
“In the end the only person who can help me is me, isn’t it?”
- If you are feeling troubled you can call the Samaritans’ 24-hour confidential helpline on 08457 90 90 90.
