Spurs chants not so funny

[Flashspur]

To celebrate the launch of Oulala, 'the world’s most evolved free fantasy football game', 1,500 British football fans were polled to find the funniest football terrace chants of the last 10 years. Amazingly there are no Spurs ones in there. To make matters worse, the Hammers win it with the Rio chant.

I would have thought at the very least the Ginola one about Posh would have been in there. Surely we can be credited for some really smart and clever chants over the years.

1. "His name is Rio and he watches from the stand"
Rio Ferdinand faced this chant after he was banned for missing a drugs test in 2003, sung to the tune of 'Rio' by Duran Duran (24 per cent)

2. "When you're sat in row Z, and the ball hits your head, that's Zamora, that’s Zamora"
Fulham supporters on former goal-shy striker Bobby Zamora, sung to the tune of Dean Martin's 'That's Amore' (19 per ent)
3. "You should have stayed on the telly"
Alan Shearer suffered this chant when he stopped working on Match of the Day to take charge of Newcastle, but wasn't able to save them from being relegated (19 per cent)
4. "He's fast, he's red, he talks like Father Ted, Robbie Keane"
Liverpool fans salute their striker (18 per cent)
5. "Your teeth are offside, your teeth are offside, Luis Suarez, your teeth are offside"
Manchester United fans singing about Liverpool forward Luis Suarez's large gnashers (18 per cent)
6. "Deep fry yer pizzas, we're gonna deep fry yer pizzas"
Scotland fans made this threat against Italy's cuisine in a Fifa World Cup qualifier in March 2007 (18 per cent)
7. "Chelsea, wherever you may be, keep your wife from John Terry"
Sung to the tune of 'Lord of the Dance', Chelsea fans salute their Captain after his affair with former team-mate Wayne Bridge's ex-girlfriend (16 per cent)
8. "John Carew, Carew. He likes a lap-dance or two. He might even pay for you. John Carew, Carew"
Sung to the tune of 'Que Sera Sera' by Doris Day, this was the Villa fans' tribute to their player after he was caught visiting a gentlemen's club in 2008 (15 per cent)
9. "Fat Eddie Murphy, you're just a fat Eddie Murphy"
The Newcastle United fans heckling Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink back in his Chelsea days (14 per cent)
10. "You only live round the corner"
Fulham fans sing to Manchester United supporters during their 2-0 win in the 2008/9 season (14 per cent)

 

[Flashspur]

One of my favorites is another Hammers chant to Jonjo Shelvy......"Harry Potters coming for you"

 

[Archibald&Crooks]

I would have thought at the very least the Ginola one about Posh would have been in there. Surely we can be credited for some really smart and clever chants over the years.

I doubt very much a song about a stick insect being buggered by a footballer was the kind of thing they were looking for

 

[djee]

Not sure chants 2 or 10 can be attributed to Fulham...certainly heard our fans sing the Utd one on numerous occasions over the past 10 years when they have come to the Lane.

 

[Ionman34]

I always thought 'Martin Keown he's got a Monkey's head.' was a classic.

Not to mention Wenger's packet of sweets and a cheeky smile.

 

[TheBlueRooster]

Even Gerrard found "Self defence you're having a laugh" funny.

 

[Rocksuperstar]

So "Peter Reid eats bananas with his feet" and "We paid for your hats" didn't make that list?

Weak.

 

[SpainSpur85]

No Sol Campbell songs then...

 

[$hoguN]

We paid for your hats was great.

They also missed a classic Liverpool chant off the list, to the tune of Don't Blame it on the Boogie they used to sing: "Don't blame it on Hamman, don't blame it on Biscan, don't blame it on Finnan, blame it on Traore. He just can't, he just can't, he just can't control his feet."

 

[StartingPrice]

No 7 is BS...it was first sung by Wigan fans, not at Stamford Bridge, and taking the p*ss outta the Morally Defunct One, and not saluting him!

 

[Gb160]

I quite liked ......'2 Andy Gorams, there's only 2 Andy Gorams'

 

[nightgoat]

4. "He's fast, he's red, he talks like Father Ted, Robbie Keane"
Liverpool fans salute their striker (18 per cent)

18% of those really don't have much of a sense of humour if they think that's the funniest football chant ever.

 

[Lufti]

We're gonna have to incorporate @Ironskullll 's wheelchair chant if we want to make the next list

 

[RButch]

I liked Ji Sung Parks chant, "Park, Park, wherever you may be, you eat dogs in your home country! But it could be worse, you could be scouse, eating rats in a council house!"

or Peter Odemwingie's "Hey my name's Peter, Odemwingie. I'm in your car park.. So sign me maybe?!" (Call me maybe tune)

 

[Chimbo1]

QPR fans at Djibril Cisse - "bird shit, on his head, he's got bird shit on his head"

QPR fans when a squirrel ran across the pitch vs Bournemouth - "there's only one Louis Suarez, one Louis sauuuurez "

 

[dagraham]

One of the best ones I heard was chanted by Hibs fans about Graham Rix to the tune of "If you tolerate this" by Manic Street Preachers :

"And if you tolerate Rix, then your children will be next".

Sometimes the best ones are just spur of the moment chants. I rememeber when we played Man City and Liam Gallagher was in one of the East Stand boxes giving it the big un'. The Park Lane chanted "you're just a shit Chas and Dave". He found it hilarous and applauded.

Also, I know its puerile and not very inventive but I always found it amusing when we used to chant to Joey Barton "your sister's your mum"

 

[kr1978]

Not sure chants 2 or 10 can be attributed to Fulham...certainly heard our fans sing the Utd one on numerous occasions over the past 10 years when they have come to the Lane.

Agree as I definitely remember 2 at spurs as well

 

[Kirito]

Dunno why but one of my favorites is

Shit Michael Jackson, you're just a shit Michael Jackson shit Michael Jaaaackson

Aimed at Nani

 

[talkshowhost86]

Not a chant as such, and it's a story I've recounted on here many a time, but the funniest thing I've ever heard at a game was when we were playing Birmingham City and, totally unprovoked, a guy behind me stood up and shouted, "HEY FORSELL! YOUR MUM'S A LESBIAN".

Not sure how that hasn't been turned into a chart topping ditty really.

 

[riggi]

Number 1 is brilliant.