Let's All Laugh At... Let's all laugh at Chelsea thread

[Dakes]

I wonder what happens in the Chelsea dressing room during half time. Probably discussions about transfers and player stats from Tranfermarkt than stats from the game.

 

[Japhet]

He was singing the praises of the Saudi league the other day. Fuck him.

The Saudi League that bailed them out buying a load of their shit they paid fortunes for.

 

[ItsBoris]

Bonkers

View attachment 130787

After spending all that money they have big names starting for them like, erm....Jackson, Chukwuemeka, Gusto, Gallager, Colwill....

I've never even heard of half their starting 11 vs west ham lol

 

[philll]

Le Saux said that in commentary? Fair play….

I might or might not have added a bit of emphasis.

 

[ItsBoris]

Baffling they got rid of Tuchel in the first place and wrote off last season let alone make it seem like they had a better plan.

I remember when I said graham potter was a huge downgrade on tuchel and the post got like 20 disagrees.

From that decision alone it was clear what a shambles this ownership would be. Tbf it's been even worse than I could have imagined in my wildest fantasies

 

[Wheeler Dealer]

Considering Poch was always an advocate of a small, tightly knit and egoless squad, the fact he's ended up at PSG and then Chelsea is baffling. It's the opposite of his football philosophy. That CL run really messed his head up, man.

Poch's only interest is $$$$

 

[rossdapep]

That's precisely where it all started to go off the rails. Boehly(boehlyboehlyboehly - I have no idea, love saying that name over and over though... boehlyboehlyboehly hah!) came in with all the swagger, convinced that he could slap his own brand on a team that has basically been run by a tremendously shifty Russian and oiled with money, but who at least made sure they got the right people in to do the right jobs.

Tuchel was clearly a great fit, the players respected him - I suspect that Tuchel wanted to discuss a new contract and the pay rise that you can't argue he didn't earn, but Toddy wanted to show him who was boss; he argued over transfers - I mean, who argues with a professional, successful football manager, with zero personal experience themselves over shit like that? Probably tried to knuckle ball him on any new contract too. Bayern wanted him, probably offered him what he deserved, would've been an easy choice.

Boehly came to the party, bought the house, kicked everyone out and now he's just bopping away to Bruce Springsteen on repeat, with a bunch of people he paid to be his friends. Twat.

Twat is the wrong word.

Legend

P.S If it leads to Chelsea having huge issues they cannot overcome

 

[Misfit]

Poch in!

 

[Timbo Tottenham]

Baffling they got rid of Tuchel in the first place and wrote off last season let alone make it seem like they had a better plan.

Not that baffling if you google the real reason he was sacked.

 

[Marty]

He was singing the praises of the Saudi league the other day. Fuck him.

That'll be his next employers after Chelsea sack him.

 

[nigespurs]

Super Jan likeing post referencing Chelsea getting schooled by West ham.
Jan fell out with Poch more than I thought.

 

[Pochemon94]

The funniest thing is about Todd and Chelsea is he is trying to run the club like the Dodgers in the MLB. In baseball the way to win is by tanking, get as many top 100 prospects as you can, trade away every asset to accumulate more prospects and eventually they all hit their stride together and you have a 2-3 year window to win it all.

This does not work in football, yeah sure, all the prospects are great but the hit rate is so freaking low that they are gonna be absollutely screwed in 6-7 years with these dudes still there on massive wages.

I guess their only saving grace is the fact that they are also owned by the Saudis so they will continue to bail them out with player purchases...

 

[philll]

Super Jan likeing post referencing Chelsea getting schooled by West ham.
Jan fell out with Poch more than I thought. View attachment 130919

This made me remember that, years ago, we were going to hear from one ITK or another details about some bust-up between Poch and Alderweireld after one of them left the club.

 

[Bobbins]

The Saudi League that bailed them out buying a load of their shit they paid fortunes for.

And where the investment fund is partnered with the same investment fund which is part owned by the owner of Chelsea... Almost like he's buying his own players...

Fuck them, fuck everything they represent, fuck Poch, I hope he's sacked by Christmas, Chelsea get relegated and the club is closed down by the end of the season.

That vile institution needs to be wiped off the face of the Earth.

 

[Spursmatty87]

how long til they approach de Zerbi

 

[freeeki]

He was obviously desperate to get back into management but once we decided to move on he didn't seem to have any option but to make a deal with the devil.

Poch could kick a puppy to death live on TV and folk on here would still shill for the prick

 

[Dillspur]

The funniest thing is about Todd and Chelsea is he is trying to run the club like the Dodgers in the MLB. In baseball the way to win is by tanking, get as many top 100 prospects as you can, trade away every asset to accumulate more prospects and eventually they all hit their stride together and you have a 2-3 year window to win it all.

This does not work in football, yeah sure, all the prospects are great but the hit rate is so freaking low that they are gonna be absollutely screwed in 6-7 years with these dudes still there on massive wages.

I guess their only saving grace is the fact that they are also owned by the Saudis so they will continue to bail them out with player purchases...

That's not how he did it with the Dodgers, he was able to negotiate a TV deal with local broadcasters that was insane compared to what other teams were able to get in their regions. Then he spent massively on getting some of tll the best players, while baseball is a team sport, I think you can rely on the brilliance of individual players to win while football needs a coherent team to win.

 

[PCozzie]

Shit. They're going to sign some more players. Now we're all fucked.

 

[Bluto Blutarsky]

. Drunk on transfer fees

 

[Buggsy61]

WTF is going on at that club. They have spent nearly £1BN in the last year and you look at that team sheet and there is no one on there who really strikes fear into the opposition.
Back in the day they had Drogba, Lampard. Robben Terry (a Prize arse I know but an effective premier league footballer) etc etc.
They look a jigsaw puzzle where the pieces don’t fit together at the moment.Poch has definitely got his work cut out as failure to finish top 5 will probably lead to his arse getting fired out of a cannon you would think.