- Feb 1, 2005
The other day I received a blank text from Mrs A&C. When I got home I asked 'Why did you send me a blank text?'..........She said 'Because I'm not talking to you'...........She came home from shopping yesterday and asked 'what do you think of my new mini-skirt, it's the same one Victoria Beckham has' ...........I just patted her arse and said 'and that's the same one Dawn French has'
Later on, I was watching the football on the telly and she came and sat next to me, tickled my balls and whispered into my ear 'if there's one thing you would really like me to do for you now, what would it be?'..........I whispered back 'get me a can of lager out the fridge'...........Then she started banging on about bringing more 'culture' into our relationship. So I went out and bought some Yakult.
But the shit really hit the fan when she caught me shagging her sister. As she was sobbing she said to me 'I do love you, but if I'm going to forgive you I want the full story and your gonna have to really make it up to me' So I said look, I just got out of the shower and your sister gagged me and dragged me to the bedroom, I pleaded with her to stop but she stripped me naked and forced me to do her from behind... Is that made up enough for you?'
And then this morning was having a go at me. 'Life's just one big joke to you, isn't it?' She ranted.
"I don't know what you mean. Sit down, love, and let's talk about it'.
That's when I pulled her chair away.
Today's word of the day is: Expectation