The Daily ITK Discussion Thread - The Three Chairmen

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Archibald&Crooks

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Here's another thread for you to shit all over, lose your access, then cry about it.

Levylocks and the three Chairmen

Once upon a time, there was a football club chairman named Levylocks. He was looking to not sign players, but give the impression that he wanted to. He went to his office.

At the table in the office, there were three player offers. Levylocks was desperate. He read the first offer.

"This offer is too much!" he exclaimed.

So, he read the second offer

"This contract is just a bit more than I like," he said

So, he read the last offer.

"Ahhh, this offer is a loan, that's just right," he said happily and he picked up the phone

After he'd read the three chairmens offer he decided he was feeling a little tired. So, he walked into the boardroom where he saw three chairs. Levylocks sat in the first chair to rest his feet.

"This chair is too big, my feet don't touch the ground!" he exclaimed.

So he sat in the second chair.

"This chair is too big, too!" he whined. "I can't see the table"

So he tried the last and smallest chair.

"Ahhh, this chair is just right," he sighed. But just as he settled down into the chair to rest, he saw a note saying he couldn't sit in the chair unless he loaned it! "bollocks to that" said Levylocks and sat in it anyway.

Levylocks still hadn't signed any players and was very tired by this time, so he went upstairs to the bedroom. He lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard. Then he lay in the second bed, but it was too soft. Then he lay down in the third bed and it was just right. Levylocks fell asleep.

As he was sleeping, the three club chairmen came home.

"Someone didn't make me an offer," growled the Madrid Chairman.

"Someone didn't make me an offer," said the Lisbon Chairman.

"Someone's been making me an offer and it's really low" cried the PSG Chairman.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair," growled the Madrid Chairman.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair," said the Lisbon Chairman.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair and they didn't loan it," cried the PSG Chairman.

They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom, The PSG Chairman growled, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed,"

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed, too" said the Lisbon Chairman

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed and he's still there!" exclaimed Madrid Chairman.

Fuck him, they all cried, he's made his bed, let him lie in it.

Just then, Levylocks woke up and saw the three chairmen. He screamed, "Help!" And he jumped up and ran out of the room. Levylocks ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the distance.

And he never returned to make genuine offers to the three chairmen.
 

whitechina

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Dec 27, 2012
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A & C welcome back to a top story opening post
I've really missed these

Now for more juicy ITK
 

GRspurs11

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Joined
Aug 19, 2012
Messages
299

Here's another thread for you to shit all over, lose your access, then cry about it.

Levylocks and the three Chairmen

Once upon a time, there was a football club chairman named Levylocks. He was looking to not sign players, but give the impression that he wanted to. He went to his office.

At the table in the office, there were three player offers. Levylocks was desperate. He read the first offer.

"This offer is too much!" he exclaimed.

So, he read the second offer

"This contract is just a bit more than I like," he said

So, he read the last offer.

"Ahhh, this offer is a loan, that's just right," he said happily and he picked up the phone

After he'd read the three chairmens offer he decided he was feeling a little tired. So, he walked into the boardroom where he saw three chairs. Levylocks sat in the first chair to rest his feet.

"This chair is too big, my feet don't touch the ground!" he exclaimed.

So he sat in the second chair.

"This chair is too big, too!" he whined. "I can't see the table"

So he tried the last and smallest chair.

"Ahhh, this chair is just right," he sighed. But just as he settled down into the chair to rest, he saw a note saying he couldn't sit in the chair unless he loaned it! "bollocks to that" said Levylocks and sat in it anyway.

Levylocks still hadn't signed any players and was very tired by this time, so he went upstairs to the bedroom. He lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard. Then he lay in the second bed, but it was too soft. Then he lay down in the third bed and it was just right. Levylocks fell asleep.

As he was sleeping, the three club chairmen came home.

"Someone didn't make me an offer," growled the Madrid Chairman.

"Someone didn't make me an offer," said the Lisbon Chairman.

"Someone's been making me an offer and it's really low" cried the PSG Chairman.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair," growled the Madrid Chairman.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair," said the Lisbon Chairman.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair and they didn't loan it," cried the PSG Chairman.

They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom, The PSG Chairman growled, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed,"

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed, too" said the Lisbon Chairman

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed and he's still there!" exclaimed Madrid Chairman.

Fuck him, they all cried, he's made his bed, let him lie in it.

Just then, Levylocks woke up and saw the three chairmen. He screamed, "Help!" And he jumped up and ran out of the room. Levylocks ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the distance.

And he never returned to make genuine offers to the three chairmen.
Thanks A&C. Pretty sure this is exactly how the rest of the window will work out.
 

whitelightwhiteheat

SC Supporter
Joined
Jul 21, 2006
Messages
6,462
Don’t all fairytales end with “and they all lived happily ever after”....
The original fairytales from Europe were dark AF. Grimm's Fairytales etc. If you want happily ever after it's Disney that you want, they twisted the fairytales into something appropriate for a dumbed down era.
 

longtimespur

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
4,349
Cheers A&C. I'm an optimistic guy and hope this thread doesn't get closed too quickly.
:(

🤔Unfortunately I've been on SC for too long to be that optimistic. :(
 

Hercules

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2014
Messages
3,798
I am at the game, and strangely from my acquaintances, they heard nothing on Willian. Now to save getting egg in my face. Someone else may be hearing different. They lol at the 50m. Welcome anymore insight.

btw Guillam Ball’atwat knows sweet fa about the GB goings ons. There are definitely conversations taking place, but not expected to happen. RM desperate to get rid-UNLIKEL!!!
 

SonEffect

Just Poking In
Joined
Aug 6, 2017
Messages
81
A striker in before city from JJ, gards saying its not willian Jose... JJ is quiet unless something is for sure and the only thing that has legs right now is Jose. hm.
 
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