The Daily ITK Discussion Thread - The Gonads on the Line Edition 30th August 2013

[JerryGarcia]

Why would we sign Benteke if we're only playing with one striker these days? Rodrigo would make more sense.

 

[mil1lion]

Coentrao and Halilovic would cost at least £30m together and I still fancy a shrewd striker signing from left field.

 

[zeuso]

I think people are reading too much into The Goat's post about religion, it was simply to emphasise we are in for a St. Riker (striker) but i could be wrong...

 

[cooko70]

Simon CHURCH....

Ill get me coat.....

 

[thinktank]

Right, off to get me chips.

I expect this to be DONE by the time I get back! Woohoo!

 

[Shanks]

It's Javier Pastore.

 

[THFCSPURS19]

I don't quite believe this but apparently we are poised to spend at least another £40m.

Best. Window. Ever

Do people reckon this includes or excludes Eriksen???

 

[HoltbiusMac]

The thing is, its just getting silly now lol

Right now we are having the best window in my life and Im struggling to see who we will spend another £40million on

Left-back, back-up striker, back-up right-back and possibly even a top-class left-winger?

Bar left-back I think we normally could go without these things if we're *only* aiming for 4th but if you are trying to compete with City, Chelsea and United and see who they have in those positions they are all better off than us.

 

[EnfieldYiddo]

If the £40 million spending ties in with the goat info and we read between the lines that it'll be a big singing... It will be someone who can play LWF and cover up-front I think.

I've just said all that above so I can try convince myself again it's Martinez. (We've also been told we'll target players with release clauses so - he fits)

 

[tiger666]

Well it's a Spanish club if Jasper is on about the same guy.

"No names as too sensitive. Media has most names out there. Best to say 'Buy-out' clauses suits us best, unless they will accept less. Spanish clubs trying to offload quickly due to financial crisis so look there as activities go. "

 

[garymcl]

Well, another round of winners in the "pledge til you're broke" window!
(Also known as "Rob wants a speedboat").

With the stamping of Lamela and Chiriches, lucky times arrived for the following punters - including Dannel whose post reminded me to remind you to add the pledges you make in the ITK thread to the Pledge thread or you may well miss out on the great cash prizes on offer!*

(*no cash prizes are actually on offer but you get kudos, love, respect and lots of positive reps from everyone for funding the lurkathon and giving A&C an outlet for his depravity that does not require significant government investment that would otherwise be necessary).

Dannel - £10 for every incoming transfer completed (with Stoof stamp) from now till end of the window. - that's £20 please!

Parkie - Any other "big name" (that I like): £10 (Lamela) and Any other signing: £5 (Chiriches) - but I'm adding the other £5 as I now very much like Capoue!

Ravo - Other first team players £5 each - £10 please!

Lillywhites61 - Any attacking midfielder £10 - £10 please!

Syn_13 - Creative attacking mid/wide forward/winger - £5 - £5 please!

MonkeyBastardHands - Each other "household name" signing - £10
Every other player we sign - £1 each -£11 then please!

GBSpurs - For every signing that costs the following I will pledge;
£5m -£10m = £5
£10m -£15m = £10
£15m-£20m =£15
£20+ = £20
- £30 I think!

TottenhamLegend - Plus a bonus if we break our transfer record: £2 for every 1m we break it by (I'm assuming it is currently £16m). - the gift that keeps on giving! - another £28?!

Davids_5 - £10 for a creative midfield player - £10 please!

IanKane - Sign anyone - £5 (per signing) - another £10 please!

StupidLikeAFox - Lamela - £10
Also, do you want to cash out on the "£1 per million we spend"?!

Bus Conductor - Lamela 30

Bruts - Every signing over £10 million - £5 - £10 please!

N17Jack - Lamela £30

Reece - I'll give a tenner for each player we sign who has Villa somewhere in their name in addition to a tenner per player who is signed from a club that has likewise - until Feb 1st.
- you are not going to believe this, seriously! Lamela is an anagram of Villa me! Is that another tenner?
Did I mention my dyslexia? I'm a fully paid up member of DNA - the National Association of Dylslexics.

MilkyBarYid - Lamela £12.50

EnfieldYiddo - Any player who beats our record transfer: £10 - are you tallying them up?

BryanaButler - Lamela £20

Youcef offered £10 for Ljalic... We bought the guy he replaces. Whaddayathink?

ChrisFinch - £20 if Bale stays or is replaced with Lamela

Sweech - Lamela - $50, Chiriches - $20 (before anyone gets too excited, that is Canadian Dollars which are probably not even real money! I bet they are just leaves covered in syrup or something!)

Parkie - £1 fine for making a racist remark - doh!

Vdv112 - I'll donate $20(from Australia) if we sign Lamela (again, a made-up currency with all the validity of Monopoly money. Do you know it's printed on plastic so you can still use it even if you store it in the mucus filled pouch of a kangaroo so you have a hopping wallet?!)

Parkie - £1 fine for making a racist remark - doh!

PhezTHFC - £10 Lamela and £10 another full international - £20

Pauline-Ho/I miss the Waddler - A tenner if we announce Lamela...A fiver for a random centre forward or centre back - £15 please!

SlunkSoma - Lamela to join £10 (regardless of Bale)

Garymcl - Lamela - £50 (almost done but still worth handing over a nifty) Chirchies - £50 (again almost done but same as above with lamela) - £100!

Strader - we'll settle up at the end of the window - is that cumulative or based on the final nett spend? If cumulative, you are a very generous lad... If nett, you are about to be a massive Levy fan!

Antilokhos - £10 Lamela


Wow! What a lot of heroes!
Don't forget to press the yellow button of celebration!

And remember, there's more to come! Don't miss out on the excitement! It's never too late to pledge on those last minute Levy specials...
Mamma wants a speedboat!

(Please note - if Eriksen signs in the next 30 mins or so I will not be happy! Cuttin n pastin n quippin is takin its toll!)

That's my £100 done for Lamela & Chirchies......never been happier dropping a oner ha ha ha!!! COYS!!!

 

[felmani26]

Do people reckon this includes or excludes Eriksen???

Excluding I'd say.

 

[freeeki]

I think people are reading too much into The Goat's post about religion, it was simply to emphasise we are in for a St. Riker (striker) but i could be wrong...

Why do a cryptic to say we're looking at a striker?

 

[xtrac]

I think people are reading too much into The Goat's post about religion, it was simply to emphasise we are in for a St. Riker (striker) but i could be wrong...

Oh yeah i didnt see that, the crafty goat

 

[Samson]

I know he is not fit, I was the one who ITK'd it, but Benny worked perfectly with Bale when he played on the left and his crosses are better than Rose's

Benny was and is a legend. But he's now injured and we don't play with an orthodox left-winger any more. We need someone who will run all day for that position, and he literally can't.

 

[thinktank]

Maybe we're paying it directly to Wenger to make him our new Chirpy. Would be worth it.

Instant image of wenger round the back of WHL in chripy costume without the head on, having a fag and kicking a can around, remembering how things used to be.

 

[Gedson100]

£40m on wonderkids I reckon, just as an afterthought.

 

[wishkah]

Bit concerned who will play where

Erikson middle. Lamela right. Chadli left. Saldado
Top. Plus sig, holtby, Lennon, andros as back up

So who are we replacing I'm the starting slots? Who goes from the back ups.

 

[THFCSPURS19]

Excluding I'd say.

Fucking hell.
No seriously, What the Fuck.
Levy. Baldini. Wow!

 

[sebcole]

40 mills more, there's no waiting here, its an explosion of the last 12-20 years of mediocrity gathering in the pipeline of dreams. My heads to fizzed to give a metaphor that even makes sense. This is truly great news - and I'm sure they will be working over time until the window slams shut echoing through the hollow cavernous halls of The Emirate libraryhouse...(where you can discern distinct drips of water, moodily leaking onto the crusty, dusty floor). Meanwhile at the lane....