- Feb 1, 2005
- 55,585
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- #1
The therapy wasn't having much effect and I was determined to find out what it was that was making me mumble "F5, for god's sake hit F5" in my sleep. So I figured, why not go to a hypnotist? Fuck it, I was willing to try anything.......
So I made an appointment and before I knew it was lying on a couch with the smell of roses playing delicately across my bugle. I'd struck gold with the hypnotist though, brunette milfage with big tits and the last thing I remember as she said 'follow this watch with your eyes' was thinking 'I wonder if she'll suck my cock'.
Anway, what seemed like a few seconds later but was actually half an hour, I was snapped out of it and given a CD recording of the session and advised to take it to my shrink. Which I did.
So now i'm lying on another couch, only my shrink isn't in the same league as the hypnoslut. She's as sweaty as fuck, toothless, about 70 and i'm not sure if I mean years or stone. She slings the CD into the player and it starts. I can tell from the snoring that i'm in a deep sleep. Then it starts......."F5, F5......F-F-F5" The hypnotists sexy voice breaks in, asking me why I keep mentioning F5 and my reply made me go cold.......
'Infamy, Infamy....Bayern are in for me'
Go on, she says........
'In The Know, Gotta Know, Need to Know' followed by the embarrassing sound of me breaking down in tears. The rest of the stuff wasn't really anything relevant, some guff about why I still wet the bed and my fascination with fondling my balls......
I looked up at my shrink in surprise. 'You mean this whole thing is about the bastard Transfer Window?'
She smiled, nodded and said "Can I suck your cock?"
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THIS UPDATE COMES WITH A HEALTH WARNING:
The Transfer Window may (and probably will) severely damage your mental health. You proceed at your own risk.
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OK ITK-lings there's plenty to get through this morning so we'll start, as tradition dictates, at the beginning.
First up was JTG who posted this on COYS
Followed by this.........
Which was followed by this.........
And people wonder why the Transfer Window fucks with your mind? I'm sitting here with a bellyknocking erection and my vadge is very, very moist.
I need to chill out. I've just bought myself one of those relaxation CDs with the whale noises on. I can't say it's worked but, for some reason, the missus is really fucking horny.
That's your update for today. Remember........if you feel the tension getting to you, try to stay calm. Take deep breaths, get off the PC for a few minutes and get some fresh air. You might even try rabbitt punching the wife in the kidneys.
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