- Feb 1, 2005
Yesterday the Gareth Bale hokey Cokey started again and it'll probably get a lot worse as the deadline draws closer, so you might want to get your tin hats on.
Life at home took a turn for the worse yesterday when Mrs A&C broke her arm. Last night she asked if i'd help her with the washing up so I tied a sponge to her forehead. Then she had the cheek to put my piling on of four stones down to the contentment of a happy marriage. It's more to do with shagging a bird who works in Greggs
Then, this morning she said to me,"My nipples are as hot today as they were 30 years ago"........I replied,"They ought to be. One's in your coffee the other's in your porridge.".......But she was well chuffed yesterday when I bought her a set of digital scales. She stood on them and whooped "Oooh! Look at skinny old me! 101 pounds!"
Didn't have the heart to tell her it said 'lol'.
I forgot to mention, last week I had to interview three girls for a position in the office,they all got asked the same question: If you found a twenty pound note on the floow,what would you do with it?
1st girl says: I would ask around to see who had dropped it
2nd girl says: I would check if it was missing from petty cash.
3rd girl says: I would see if anyone was looking and keep it myself.
Who got the job?
The one with the big tits
And finally.......I was out jogging and saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the street this morning. Well I'm assuming she was poor, she only had 86p in her purse
Today's word of the day is: Imminent