Let's All Laugh At... Let's all laugh at Chelsea thread

[ItsBoris]

No, it looks very much like Tottenhamboy85 is stating Chelsea have Conference unless City win when they actually have Europa unless Utd win.
Two entirely different things.

No mate those are entirely the same thing just said two different ways

 

[only1waddle]

No mate those are entirely the same thing just said two different ways

Yeah, Apologies, I read an article that confused the situation, and in doing so confused me

 

[RuskyM]

• No plans to go back for Tuchel, Mourinho or Conte
• Club expected to go for a younger and more progressive coach
• Sebastian Hoeness, Michel, Kieran McKenna and Enzo Maresca among the names under consideration
• Paul Winstanley and Laurence Stewart will lead the process to appoint the new Head Coach
• No sense of panic or chaos within the club, given the continuity provided by the SDs
• The next coach will have to fit into that structure and help develop it
• The club want somebody with a possession-based brand of football, who is able to mould their squad into being able to control games and remain defensively stable
• The next coach must also suit the players that are already in the squad and those planned in the future

"We'd like a young manager that's full of ideas (but will have no say in transfers) to bring a new era for Chelsea (using the players we've already got)."

What a sales pitch. Hey, you know the players you'd want to build a team around - that the fans love and relate to? Gallagher, for instance? Yeah, he's got to go. We've got a lot of fast wingers, two really expensive CMs that can't play together and a striker with dreadful finishing. Can you make them into 2011 Barca? If you can't, it's fine, the players know you'll be the one sacked because the spreadsheets tell us we've got to keep Mudryk for seven more years and so they know they can just wait you out and try the next schmoe.

Glorious. They're fucked.

 

[cwy21]

Just when I was really worried about what Poch was starting to do.

 

[Hazelton]

Not sure who this young manager is that they believe can get a tune out of the least motivated squad ever assembled.

 

[Marty]

The Watford/Dalai Lama version of this is better but this is still fun.

 

[McFlash]

Not sure who this young manager is that they believe can get a tune out of the least motivated squad ever assembled.

They want a young manager that the board can control, without realising that the highly paid football players they've bought will just run rings around him if they feel like it or decide they don't like him.
They need a strong personality for the players but a puppet for the board.
It's not going to work.

 

[Marty]

They need a strong personality for the players but a puppet for the board.
It's not going to work.

I literally don't think this manager exists at any level of professional football.

 

[McFlash]

I literally don't think this manager exists at any level of professional football.

I don't think it ever has but that's seemingly what Chelsea are after.
It really does feel like their ownership really don't understand football at all.

 

[UncleBuck]

They’ve actually had more managers in that time than Watford, that in itself is an amazing achievement…

 

[Hazelton]

I'd laugh my arse off if they go for Southgate.

 

[Marty]

 

[Misfit]

Nothing club finds itself floundering after a 20 year spell as a Russian oligarch's penis extension shock.

Almost as if foundations were never put in place and it was all just fancy wallpaper or something.

Another couple of years like this and their top tier cache will have mostly evaporated.

It's telling that during similar seasons nearly all the media coverage, pressure and hand-wringing was about Yanited's travails.

 

[ItsBoris]

"We'd like a young manager that's full of ideas (but will have no say in transfers) to bring a new era for Chelsea (using the players we've already got)."

What a sales pitch. Hey, you know the players you'd want to build a team around - that the fans love and relate to? Gallagher, for instance? Yeah, he's got to go. We've got a lot of fast wingers, two really expensive CMs that can't play together and a striker with dreadful finishing. Can you make them into 2011 Barca? If you can't, it's fine, the players know you'll be the one sacked because the spreadsheets tell us we've got to keep Mudryk for seven more years and so they know they can just wait you out and try the next schmoe.

Glorious. They're fucked.

I bet they go for De Zerbi for the pure reason that Caicedo played well for him. They need to make their prior signings work to not look like absolute morons, so who better than the guy they bought most of them from?

 

[only1waddle]

Nothing club finds itself floundering after a 20 year spell as a Russian oligarch's penis extension shock.

Almost as if foundations were never put in place and it was all just fancy wallpaper or something.

Another couple of years like this and their top tier cache will have mostly evaporated.

It's telling that during similar seasons nearly all the media coverage, pressure and hand-wringing was about Yanited's travails.

Hopefully so, but, they always seem to find a way to win something, this does feel like a pivotal appointment for them though.

 

[philll]

 

[Tucker]

Is he fucking mental?

 

[rossdapep]

Is he fucking mental?

reckon it's more of a "Do you want to do it my way then?" and he's just leaving the door open.

He 100% wants to come back to the PL though so that's driving it.

Cant see Boehly and Co bending though.

The really bemusing thing is they supposedly want a young coach who can mould the team into their image.

They just had 2 coaches who fit that profile in Potter and Poch.

 

[Tucker]

reckon it's more of a "Do you want to do it my way then?" and he's just leaving the door open.

He 100% wants to come back to the PL though so that's driving it.

Cant see Boehly and Co bending though.

The really bemusing thing is they supposedly want a young coach who can mould the team into their image.

They just had 2 coaches who fit that profile in Potter and Poch.

Sounds like they want someone that will do as they are told, and not ask questions about which players will be sold or bought. Eg Gallagher.

I suspect Poch refused to be a yes man for them. Just like Tuchel did originally.

 

[Tezza1978]

If Boehly wants a young, hungry, patsy coach who does what he wants with the young players they already have, and to have no say in transfers...and they then appoint Tuchel ...