Emotional investment

stevenurse

Palacios' neck fat
Joined
May 14, 2007
Messages
5,971
One thing the last few weeks has taught me, and I suppose you become more acutely aware during the 'bad times', is I'm far too emotionally invested in something I have no control over, doesn't *really* matter in the long run, and something that only serves to make rich people richer.

When spurs lose, and often even if we draw, it ruins my day, weekend or week until the next game, and even then a loss like the Brighton one just compounds the feeling. It's pathetic. A grown man allowing 18 millionaires and a manager, many of whom don't give a single fuck, to determine my mood.

It's why the emotional reactions of so many, including those labelled 'knee jerk' will never have any less value than those that are seemingly reasoned and rational about the situation.

It's why those that boo have every right to. It's not something I'd do, but mainly because I'd be too busy moaning to my mate about how unbelievably shit we are right now.

I've grown up through the shitshow of the 90's. I had season tickets when a draw against arsenal was probably the best we could hope for all season. Getting older I thought the moods and the disappointment would lesson with age, but if anything they're worse now.

But...I simply wouldn't have it any other way. COYS.

I honestly have no idea who's the right man to take us forward and I can't help but think we are genuinely fucked, but it's never gonna change. We are spurs and nobody around gives you the roller-coaster of moods than us.
 

wrd

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 22, 2014
Messages
5,553
I won't lie I thought you was making a decent point first 2 paragraphs talking about how unhealthy a lot of our relationships with football is for a lot of us but then you doubled down on it. You wouldn't have it any other way? Well we should, we can love our club but at the same time not allow it to affect our mood in our day to day lives, this is meant to be entertainment for us, I love the community we have but all of us, myself included could do with making sure we don't let it affect our moods in the rest of our lives.

I think sometimes football fans can be really guilty of living life through their football team and that's not healthy and all of us should be better at living the failures and success of our own lives than that of a football team.
 

spursfan77

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 13, 2005
Messages
23,297
I read this arrigo sacchi quote the other day:

“Football is the most important of the least important things in life“

and I think it’s pretty apt. I agree with you, I’m far too emotionally invested in us.
 

Fergus

Active Member
Joined
Jun 5, 2004
Messages
421
As Bill Shankly once said, "Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that. "
 

Dougal

Staff
Staff
Joined
Jun 4, 2004
Messages
53,921
As Hodor from Game of Thrones once said: ‘Hodor’. I think we all know what he was getting at.

I’m in the same position. One bad result ruins a weekend. Several lead to me reevaluating my life choices. So proud my kids support Spurs, so ashamed I made them do it. After all these years I still need to snap myself out of a bad mood after a defeat otherwise everything else passes me by.
 

scat1620

L'espion mal fait
Joined
May 11, 2008
Messages
8,361
As Bill Shankly once said, "Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that. "
Bill Shankly was talking out of his 'arris.
 

scat1620

L'espion mal fait
Joined
May 11, 2008
Messages
8,361
As Hodor from Game of Thrones once said: ‘Hodor’. I think we all know what he was getting at.

I’m in the same position. One bad result ruins a weekend. Several lead to me reevaluating my life choices. So proud my kids support Spurs, so ashamed I made them do it. After all these years I still need to snap myself out of a bad mood after a defeat otherwise everything else passes me by.
Don't worry mate, it will all get better soon...



:playful:
 

SugarRay

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 6, 2011
Messages
7,643
Fuck underplaying it’s importance and asking yourself why you get so into it. I love it, no matter how bad we play and telling the same cab drivers on my way home from the station every other week that I wish I never started out following football etc, I’m already looking forward to Tuesday night. Not the football, because it’ll no doubt be turgid but just being back up there with my mates and other likeminded people supporting our club.

The most annoying thing about it all for me is how the games been hijacked and were being fleeced of our money left right and centre, and it’s all about exploiting people’s loyalty to the game and their club.
 

Dougal

Staff
Staff
Joined
Jun 4, 2004
Messages
53,921
Fuck underplaying it’s importance and asking yourself why you get so into it. I love it, no matter how bad we play and telling the same cab drivers on my way home from the station every other week that I wish I never started out following football etc, I’m already looking forward to Tuesday night. Not the football, because it’ll no doubt be turgid but just being back up there with my mates and other likeminded people supporting our club.

The most annoying thing about it all for me is how the games been hijacked and were being fleeced of our money left right and centre, and it’s all about exploiting people’s loyalty to the game and their club.
The social side of it has gone for me so I just turn up for the football and leave again. That’s just life taking over, but when it’s stripped down to that then the football itself becomes so important and lately so devastating. To know that my small bit of free time has crushed me is the hardest part. I still turn up, but only because the emotional investment is so high.
 

fishhhandaricecake

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 15, 2018
Messages
1,435
One thing the last few weeks has taught me, and I suppose you become more acutely aware during the 'bad times', is I'm far too emotionally invested in something I have no control over, doesn't *really* matter in the long run, and something that only serves to make rich people richer.

When spurs lose, and often even if we draw, it ruins my day, weekend or week until the next game, and even then a loss like the Brighton one just compounds the feeling. It's pathetic. A grown man allowing 18 millionaires and a manager, many of whom don't give a single fuck, to determine my mood.

It's why the emotional reactions of so many, including those labelled 'knee jerk' will never have any less value than those that are seemingly reasoned and rational about the situation.

It's why those that boo have every right to. It's not something I'd do, but mainly because I'd be too busy moaning to my mate about how unbelievably shit we are right now.

I've grown up through the shitshow of the 90's. I had season tickets when a draw against arsenal was probably the best we could hope for all season. Getting older I thought the moods and the disappointment would lesson with age, but if anything they're worse now.

But...I simply wouldn't have it any other way. COYS.

I honestly have no idea who's the right man to take us forward and I can't help but think we are genuinely fucked, but it's never gonna change. We are spurs and nobody around gives you the roller-coaster of moods than us.
Like it, very true. I’ve gone from getting upset and dispondent to just laughing now as it’s spurs and we will always just be a mad nearly club, shame.

I genuinely think if we actually got a world class proven winner we may get over the line and win something though.
 

Spurs' Pipe Dreams

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2011
Messages
15,904
I won't lie I thought you was making a decent point first 2 paragraphs talking about how unhealthy a lot of our relationships with football is for a lot of us but then you doubled down on it. You wouldn't have it any other way? Well we should, we can love our club but at the same time not allow it to affect our mood in our day to day lives, this is meant to be entertainment for us, I love the community we have but all of us, myself included could do with making sure we don't let it affect our moods in the rest of our lives.

I think sometimes football fans can be really guilty of living life through their football team and that's not healthy and all of us should be better at living the failures and success of our own lives than that of a football team.
This 100%
 

dagraham

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 20, 2005
Messages
14,394
I won't lie I thought you was making a decent point first 2 paragraphs talking about how unhealthy a lot of our relationships with football is for a lot of us but then you doubled down on it. You wouldn't have it any other way? Well we should, we can love our club but at the same time not allow it to affect our mood in our day to day lives, this is meant to be entertainment for us, I love the community we have but all of us, myself included could do with making sure we don't let it affect our moods in the rest of our lives.

I think sometimes football fans can be really guilty of living life through their football team and that's not healthy and all of us should be better at living the failures and success of our own lives than that of a football team.
Yeah agree. I think it depends on :

a) how long you’ve been a supporter ( long standing Spurs fans should know by now we’re not allowed to have nice things for very long) and

b) what else you have going on in your life.

I used to let my weekend be more defined by our results, but realised that’s a bit stupid really ( I make an exception for getting smashed in a NLD). I also couldn’t really get away with it after I moved in with my missus over 10 years ago. She’s not into sport and although realises to give me a wide birth for a couple of hours if we’ve lost a big game, if I sulked around for a whole weekend every time we lost she’d tell to stop being a prick and grow up. And quite rightly too really. Now I have a child that is magnified even more.

I also find the better we are, the more my mood gets effected. Probably due to raised expectations and our “nearly men” status. At the moment I’m very much in the frame of mind of “ah, the real Spurs are back. Welcome to another crisis”.

I also personally find it odd that fans after a defeat want to re watch the game or pour through highlights and Sky/the media/radio etc and just re-live it all. It’s like poking an open wound. Just turn all that shit off and do something else instead.
 

mightyspur

Now with lovely smooth balls
Joined
Aug 21, 2014
Messages
6,479
I'm disappointed when spurs lose and sometimes a result can annoy me for a few hours depending on the game, but it's all soon forgotten.

People that let a football game define their mood for days after should seek professional help, or just be happy that the only thing they have to worry about are the football results
 

CheeseGromit

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 22, 2013
Messages
667
Its all very tribal

People want a sense of belonging Supporting a football club gives that sense of belonging a purpose. When the team does badly it is disappointing. Actually (I habe been a Spurs supporter since the sixties. You do not really remember or are scared by the bad times when you look back You remember the glory what ever that is for your time with Spurs
 

allatsea

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 31, 2012
Messages
4,954
Yeah agree. I think it depends on :

a) how long you’ve been a supporter ( long standing Spurs fans should know by now we’re not allowed to have nice things for very long) and

b) what else you have going on in your life.

I used to let my weekend be more defined by our results, but realised that’s a bit stupid really ( I make an exception for getting smashed in a NLD). I also couldn’t really get away with it after I moved in with my missus over 10 years ago. She’s not into sport and although realises to give me a wide birth for a couple of hours if we’ve lost a big game, if I sulked around for a whole weekend every time we lost she’d tell to stop being a prick and grow up. And quite rightly too really. Now I have a child that is magnified even more.

I also find the better we are, the more my mood gets effected. Probably due to raised expectations and our “nearly men” status. At the moment I’m very much in the frame of mind of “ah, the real Spurs are back. Welcome to another crisis”.

I also personally find it odd that fans after a defeat want to re watch the game or pour through highlights and Sky/the media/radio etc and just re-live it all. It’s like poking an open wound. Just turn all that shit off and do something else instead.
Agree so much with this post.

just to add about 18 months or so ago it hit me that as good as the team had become there really was still no real chance of winning trophies the way Man City do without a sugar daddy owner. We don’t have that so we and almost everyone else in the PL are really there just to make up the numbers.
 
Top