Cristiano Ronaldo’s off the pitch troubles

Geyzer Soze

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Not something I talk about much/ever on here but I'm a very queer person and the majority of my friends are women. All have been harrassed, nearly all of them have been sexually assaulted and a number have been raped. I honestly think for women currently in their 20s/30s the rate is even higher than the widely discussed figures suggest. It's absolutely endemic.
Genuine, & I feel important, question

Are you able to clearly define “sexually assaulted”?
 

Saoirse

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Genuine, & I feel important, question

Are you able to clearly define “sexually assaulted”?
In terms of what I'm talking about here - unwanted and non-consensual sexual touching. Everything from having your bum or boobs groped to a nightclub to having a finger put in the vulva/anus.

In a legal sense it wildly varies between jurisdiction. In Nevada where Ronaldo's in shit for instance it seems to basically mean rape and cover that because there's no such crime as 'rape'. In England/Wales I believe it basically matches what I said (plus most cases of women raping men, because people who don't have penises can't commit rape here) but I'm not a lawyer.
 

Geyzer Soze

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In terms of what I'm talking about here - unwanted and non-consensual sexual touching. Everything from having your bum or boobs groped to a nightclub to having a finger put in the vulva/anus.

In a legal sense it wildly varies between jurisdiction. In Nevada where Ronaldo's in shit for instance it seems to basically mean rape and cover that because there's no such crime as 'rape'. In England/Wales I believe it basically matches what I said (plus most cases of women raping men, because people who don't have penises can't commit rape here) but I'm not a lawyer.
Is it likewise prevalent & a significant problem in the gay community?
 

Saoirse

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Is it likewise prevalent & a significant problem in the gay community?
For gay women it's obviously about the same, guys don't really stop and figure out whether you're straight before assaulting. For gay guys I'd say it's probably not as common but still a significant and under-estimated problem. Largely depends on the lifestyle you live - unlike women if they don't go to gay clubs/be openly gay at straight ones and don't act overly camp they can mostly avoid it.
 

Geyzer Soze

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For gay women it's obviously about the same, guys don't really stop and figure out whether you're straight before assaulting. For gay guys I'd say it's probably not as common but still a significant and under-estimated problem. Largely depends on the lifestyle you live - unlike women if they don't go to gay clubs/be openly gay at straight ones and don't act overly camp they can mostly avoid it.
Yeah, no, I was specifically wondering about gay men within the gay community itself. It stands to reason that it’d be equally a problem, but then again maybe men are less ‘sensitive’ to it - or more physically able to stand up for themself or whatever
 

Saoirse

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Yeah, no, I was specifically wondering about gay men within the gay community itself. It stands to reason that it’d be equally a problem, but then again maybe men are less ‘sensitive’ to it - or more physically able to stand up for themself or whatever
In short I'd say it's a problem, but not equally a problem - it's something some of them face rather than nearly all.
 

Colonel_Klinck

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Not something I talk about much/ever on here but I'm a very queer person and the majority of my friends are women. All have been harrassed, nearly all of them have been sexually assaulted and a number have been raped. I honestly think for women currently in their 20s/30s the rate is even higher than the widely discussed figures suggest. It's absolutely endemic.
I completely know where you are coming from. These days its probably 50/50 male to female but I've gone through stages of having more female friends than male. Especially when I was younger, I couldn't be bothered with the whole masculine "I can piss further than you" bollocks. Don't get me wrong I loved a bit of banter and still do but when it got serious I couldn't be bothered. Couldn't stand misogynistic shit even back in the late 80s and 90s when it was far more accepted. I got called a feminist a few times them thinking it was an insult. I wore that badge with pride.
 

Veuve Clicquot

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I just wanted to say thank you to all of you that have made positive and supportive comments to my post. It has made me quite emotional, to be honest, because recent events and some people's tone deaf comments on social media had me feeling despair, thinking things are going to go backwards rather than forwards on this issue.
@Colonel_Klinck you are so right in saying that if men are still underestimating the pervasiveness of sexual assault/rape then they should ask the women in their lives if they have ever experienced it.
Survivors don't have a brand on them saying they have been assaulted and have generally suffered in silence.
i only started talking about it to my loved ones because of the bravery of the people who have come forward as part of the #metoo movement, realising that I had nothing to be ashamed of anymore and that silence only helps the oppressor.
And as with you, through sharing my trauma with friends and family, I have discovered how many other women (and men) have been similarly affected.
This is why it's so important to have male allies, it shouldn't just be on women to keep sexual predators in check. We need you guys to help call out other men's behaviour too, especially as men still tend to listen to other men rather than women. This includes calling out your male friends/colleagues for slut shaming and sexually objectifying women, remaining silent is not enough.
Creating a society where victims feel safe coming forward and where perpetrators face consequences for their actions is the only way we can ever hope to stop our daughters and sons becoming victims of this horrific crime.
Those on here who try to downplay the pervasiveness of sexual assault and overinflate the false accusation narrative are doing their best to retain the status quo and, as usual, blame women for the sins of men (just like pussy grabber Trump). They need to check out this video from Trevor Noah that came out yesterday so see how dangerous this is
 

sausage

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In terms of what I'm talking about here - unwanted and non-consensual sexual touching. Everything from having your bum or boobs groped to a nightclub to having a finger put in the vulva/anus.

In a legal sense it wildly varies between jurisdiction. In Nevada where Ronaldo's in shit for instance it seems to basically mean rape and cover that because there's no such crime as 'rape'. In England/Wales I believe it basically matches what I said (plus most cases of women raping men, because people who don't have penises can't commit rape here) but I'm not a lawyer.
The only side mention I'd like to contribute on this subject is this: It's pretty common (from my experience) to also experience this kind of behaviour from females too.

I don't think that it is a gender-exclusive issue, and the definition seems to turn a blind eye towards female-to-male offences. Not that I want to at all undervalue the topic, as sexual offences are both serious and a prevalent issue, but more to highlight the fact that they are an issue amongst both sexes.

I think that it is a problem for males due to misogyny also, in such that if you complained about it as a heterosexual male, you would face a lot of ridicule - not least jibes about your sexuality.


I can only imagine it is a deep-rooted issue in society, much the same as racism.
 

mil1lion

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Unfortunately this sort of stuff has gone on so long it's pretty much treated as if it's a normal thing. It's one of the things I dislike about going to nightclubs. Guys are always on the prowl for drunk girls to make out with in the hope to get them into the sack. Some girls are also into it though so it doesn't help matters. I'm always the sober one too so I see the worst in people. Too many people hide behind alcohol as an excuse to do what they want and get away with it.

I'm not sure on the Ronaldo situation. The fact that there's now a couple of women who of come forward makes things look bad for him. It's a disgusting act that will damage his reputation to an extent. He'll still go down as one of the GOAT in football of course. I didn't like the message Juventus put out about him though. The way they mentioned it happened 10 years ago is bad form. It doesn't matter how long ago it happened, if he's guilty he should pay the price. Even if he's a better person now than he was then he still needs to be charged.
 

Hakkz

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Have you read the articles?
Regarding his case? He may or may not be guilty and that's up to the court to deal with. I don't give a shit what a random footballer thinks about it either way. I wouldn't care if it was Messi giving his personal opinion on it.
 

nailsy

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Regarding his case? He may or may not be guilty and that's up to the court to deal with. I don't give a shit what a random footballer thinks about it either way. I wouldn't care if it was Messi giving his personal opinion on it.
That's fair enough I guess, but if you're commenting on what she thinks maybe you should read the Spiegel article to see why she's saying it - if you haven't already done so.
 

Hakkz

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That's fair enough I guess, but if you're commenting on what she thinks maybe you should read the Spiegel article to see why she's saying it - if you haven't already done so.
No I haven't read an article nobody has linked.
 
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